My First Love
by VanessaBabyS
Summary: I guess I'd do anything to keep my first love. One-shot. Demi, Selena, Demena, Semi.
1. Chapter 1

**Finally a one-shot. How long did this take again? Anyway for those who hate sad endings, this isn't really that sad. Anyway I'm feeling sick but I had to post something. I love the reviews , you're all so amazing. Now I need to sleep so enjoy. After homework a new chapter to Crush will be posted. You guys gotta help me stay on top of this lol. Only four weeks of school left, so posting will be easier.**

_Its always hard to spot out a difficult relationship. But its even harder to spot out a perfect one, or as perfectly amazing a relationship could be. Falling in love is always the easiest part. Staying in love is easy for some, but the breakup, if there is one, is life shattering. One totally wants to move on, while the other one is stuck in this endless loop of hopelessness. I, although I never want to admit it, might be between both the moving on stage, and the stuck in the past stage of hopelessness. I love Alex, I loved Alex. I gave her my soul and still she chose to leave me. I tried to make it right, or at least I think I did. But somehow, I'm still stuck in this loop that never ends. Everyday is the same old song, and every waking hour my heart burns to be with her. I want our love to last, I wanted it to last, it has to last, because without her, I'm nothing._

"So pancakes or waffles?" My mom asks me from the kitchen. I pull my laptop into my arms and my backpack over my shoulders before moving into the hall. I'm wearing black jeans with a matching vest and a white v-neck top underneath. My hair is falling across my ears and shoulders as I move into the kitchen.

"Pancakes or waffles?"

"I'm not hungry." My mom hates my answer. Her face is left with worry written across it but I sigh and face the open window. The kitchen is filled with dark brown cabinets and glass figurines, that staring out into the clear blue skies, brings life into the place.

"How about one pancake?" My mom moves towards the oven in her pajamas of dark silk blue as I sigh. I hear footsteps behind me and I turn to face my little sister with a smile on her face.

"I got the new M magazine today, look, isn't he a hottie?" she was jumping and squealing, pointing to some guy with white hair and a terrible tan. I nod before sighing. "Is this about Alex again?"

"What? No," I hit her in the arm as she rolls her eyes.

"Well its not my fault she left you."

"She didn't leave me, we kind of agreed it was going no where."

"As in she dumped you?"

"She didn't…" I hit Mason across her head as she squealed.

"Mitchie! No fighting with your eleven year old sister." My mom tells me as she slides a pancake onto my plate.

"I wasn't fighting with her." I scoff before poking my pancake with my finger.

"She's still mad that Alex doesn't want her. Give it up Mitch, she moved on," Mason gave me a huge grin before sliding into a chair next to me. I was tempted to push her out of it, but then again a three foot fall would damage her.

"This is exactly why I wish I was an only child."

"Well dream on."

"Girls," my mom tapped the table we were at. "Eat before you're late for school."

"I'll race ya," Mason quickly scoops up her two pancakes and tried stuffing them in her mouth.

"Mom can we send her back?"

"Eat."

* * *

_ Okay I know that I might sound bitter when I say I dislike all of Alex's friends, but there are reasons. One, her closest guy friends all want to sleep with her, but she's in denial, minus two of them. All her girl friends hate me and maybe two of the twelve of them like her. I hate seeing her with them. Its like she's stabbing me in the heart, each time I see her._

I make it over to my locker. Kids crowd the halls in school uniforms of dark reds, blues, with white shirts. Its not required, but today was school spirit day, so mostly everyone dressed up. Minus me, screw school spirit.

"Hey," I place my back against my locker and watch Alex peek from behind her locker door.

"What?" she doesn't snap at me, she just usually says what to any and everything.

"I missed you."

"Pathetic Mitchie."

"I can't say that I missed you?"

"Not really," she shuffled though her locker as I looked at her outfit. She's in her cheerleading uniform of solid red, with white words.

"Well…," I face my locker getting ready to get my things before Alex grabs my wrist.

"Can you just stop?"

"Stop what?" I asked, tilting my head.

"Stop talking to me. I thought we ended this."

"You ended this…us."

"And for a good reason, so just stop." She dropped my hand as I watched her walk away. There was nothing I could think of to make her not want to talk to me. There was nothing I could think of that I did wrong, but I accepted that it must have been me. Something was wrong with me, it had to be.

* * *

"So we're going to go straight into the study of…" Ms. Carson was talking. I couldn't pay attention to her in science because I was sitting next to Alex. Before the breakup I would sit next to her and run my fingers across her legs. We were at the back of the class so getting caught would have never happened.

"Alex."

"What Mitchie?" She doesn't face me, she just takes a deep breath and lays against her right arm.

"Do you hate me?"

"What?" she turns to looks at me.

"Do you hate me?"

"Does it matter?" She stares into my eyes and its not the same. Its not like when we use to stare and giggle at each other. I feel the pain in my chest tighten and I stare at the desk. I know Ms. Carson is still talking… but every word that comes to my ears burn.

"I don't hate you," she finally tells me.

"Then what did I do wrong?"

"You're being desperate."

"I thought I was in love," I whispered before she looks around the room.

"Love is love Mitchie. It doesn't get you through the day, it just doesn't."

"What does that even mean?"

"Its means I'm done talking about it," she slides her workbook between us as I hold back the emotions building in my chest.

"Well I want to talk about it. I need you."

"Desperate."

"Why are you being like this?" I want to continue the conversation but she reaches for my hand under the desk and tightens her grip across my fingers. I stare at her. I doubt I could get any more heart broken.

"You're going to stop talking, just shut up. This little thing we had, is over, do you hear me?"

"But it hurts."

"Get over it," she let my hand go and I can barley hold in my tears. She starts her work and I want to break down. One lonely tear falls against my paper…and then another.

"Stop it Mitchie before anybody looks." Her voice burns my chest more.

"I love you Alex," I whimper out as she slams her book close and the class faces us.

"Well I don't love you," she whispers to me, getting up. I watch her walk out of the class. No one knows what's going on except me, and the teacher directs everyone's attention to the front of the class. I move from my desk and out into the hall. Ms. Carson was calling me but I can't deal with her, not in class at least, not in front of all those eyes. Once I reach the hall I feel a hand land against my wrist. I look up to see Alex.

"We're going to talk about this now," she tugs on me harshly. I try to keep up with her and soon we end up in the old gym across from the new one. "You wanna talk, fine, talk."

"About what?"

"About everything that you think you have to constantly remind me of. In the halls, in class, what do you want from me?"

"I.."

"You listen to me and you listen good. We're over. And according to me, we never happened.."

"How can you say that?" my heart is beating fast and its getting harder to breath.

"And from now on this thing between us, ends now. I don't want us to "talk" about anything."

"But I thought you loved me…"

"Mitchie…"

"You said you loved me."

"And I thought I did."

"Don't do this."

"You're only hurting yourself."

"Please," I can feel my tears burning my cheeks as Alex looks away, "I don't know what else to do."

"Move on."

"I can't, I still love you."

"Stop saying that. Stop setting yourself up to get hurt. Just stop. You're the most neediest girl I've ever met." Her words cut me like knives. I shake my head as she speaks.

"But you can't say that you don't love me. Please, don't say it."

"I do love you, but…I'm not in love with you anymore." She turns to leave as I grab her arm.

"You can't say that."

"You better let me go."

"I can't do this. I can't pretend that I'm okay. Give me one good reason why you don't want me. Am I not any good, do I make you mad, am I…"

"Stop," I felt her hand land against my skin sending a pulsing pain through my arm. "Starting now. I'm done." She turns towards the door and right then and there I want to break down again. I want to believe that its her, I want to say its all her fault for me feeling this way. But it's me, it just has to be.

* * *

"Electronic babies. I hate this project just as much as the lot of you but, it must be done." Mr. Johnson tells the class. I lay with my chin against the hardwood desk, staring into the blank chalkboard. "We have an amazing number of girls in this class…"

"Pervert," one guy laughs before coughing.

"That's a detention Mr. Black. Now as I was saying, everyone pulls numbers. You might be a single parent or you might have a partner. You might also live the life of a bachelor….lets oo and aa together children. Now, in this hat are numbers. Choose one wisely." Mr. Johnson sent the hat around and I ignored everything and everyone. My eyes hurt, and if I could close them I would, but they burn too badly. The hat moves around the classroom and I stare into the row away from mine, three students up. Alex is acting as if we never had our conversation. Why is it so easy for her to enjoy life after we break up, but it's a living hell for me?

"Mitchie here," a boy shoves the hat into my arm over and over as I ignore him. He then pulls a paper out for me and passes the hat on.

"Okay everyone, lets go around reading off our numbers," Mr. Johnson calls out to the class and everyone says their numbers. I look up and take a deep breath.

"Nine." The teacher nods and goes around the class and its Alex's turn."

"Nine…," her eyes meet mine and I look away, "teen."

Late on in the class I find out I'm a single mother of an Asian doll. I wish I could leave my project at school, but that would cause me to receive an "F" and I can't afford one of those right now. I don't take care of my crying doll in the class, which is also the last class of the day. The bell rings and I slowly stuff my baby into my backpack. No one notices, and soon I'm in the hall.

"Whoa, you look like crap," I hear my sister's voice from behind me.

"Leave me alone."

"Hey your ex is over there," she hops in front of me pointing towards a group of kids. Alex was paired up with some blonde girl named Stacy.

"Lets just go home," I grab my sister's hand before a giggle comes from Alex. I narrow my eyes at the girl next to her before stopping. "Here, take my book bag to the car."

"How about you take it to the car!"

"Just do it," I shove the fabric into her arms before watching Stacy from a distance. Alex hands her over the electronic baby before waving goodbye to the girl.

"Stacy," I call out to the blonde.

"Um, do I know you?" She cradles her baby as if it was real.

"All you need to know is that you should stay away from Alex."

"Why? Are you like her stalker or something?"

"All I'm telling you," I pull the girl's arm away from her electronic baby, causing it to fall to the floor. "Is STAY away from Alex." The baby whines on the floor before a beeping noise occurs.

"Crazy bitch you're messing up our project," the girl dives to the floor, and I'm tempted to kick her, but I don't. I move outside and into my mom's car.

"How was your day?" A typical mom question.

"Fine." I answer.

"It doesn't seem fine. Your eyes are all puffy and red, don't tell me you let her make you cry again."

"Mom."

"Mitchie this has got to stop. I'm like a mama bear that will protect her cub and claw the eyes out of all who hurt you."

"I'm fine mom, really."

"Sure you are," Mason tells me.

"I am," I reply to her. I lay against the passenger seat before closing my eyes. Life was simpler when I was happier.

* * *

The grass outside of our house is soft, and I honestly wasn't sitting outside because our house was across from Alex's. Its just a warm day that's all. I watch the few passing cars go by as my project sleeps next to me. Its eyes are closed and its wearing some cute little pink outfit.

"Hey mom said do you want some lemonade?" Mason jumps her rope on the sidewalk near the front door.

"No," I reply as I spot Alex's parents arrive at home.

"Mama she said no," Mason yelled into the house before she skipped towards me. "You better not stare at her house too long before she yells at you like last time."

"Its our property over here, she can't control me." I watch as Mason rolls her eyes.

"What-ever." Her small feet carries her a few houses down as I sigh and watch the Russos carry in groceries.

"Hey Mitchie can you help?" Teresa asks me as I look down at my project. Its still asleep so I scoop it into my arms and run across the street.

"It's a project," I warn both parents as the nod. I grab two bags on one arm and carry my project in behind Jerry. The house is the same as I remembered it. The walls are white. The furniture is white. There is barley any color in the place except for Alex's room, everything else is all white, or white and black. I set the bags down in the kitchen as I hear footsteps from the front of the house.

"I should go," I tell Teresa as she looks around me.

"Oh Alex will get over herself."

"I shouldn't be here," I move towards the archway when Alex turns the corner and my electronic baby knocks into her stomach. "I'm sor…," I stare into her eyes. She's giving off a evil look, but it doesn't scare me. She tilts her head over to look at her mom before her dad taps her shoulder from behind her.

"I need to get in there," is tells her as she steps aside. I did the same as the man passed before walking by Alex. Once I was near the front I noticed she was following me. I didn't turn around but I felt her fingers land against the back of my shirt before she pulled me into her. I faced her before pulling away.

"I'm sorry your mom needed help."

"Sure you are. Did we not just have a conversation in school?"

"I know but…"

"You don't listen."

"I'm sorry," I lower my eyes.

"Yea, sure you are. I'm not doing this to hurt you."

"But it feels like you are," I take in a deep breath as she runs her fingers through the front strands of my hair. I close my eyes, wishing the conflicted feelings would just shut up. I hear her move and I open my eyes. She presses her lips against mine and it feels so unreal. Why would she put me through all of this just to kiss me? I lower my doll in my hands as she steps into me and soon my back is pressed against a wall. The cool air from the open door scares me a bit and I drop the doll onto the floor. It doesn't go off, which is kind of weird. Her lips move as if she wanted to kiss me all those times she lied to me. I raise my hands to wrap around her neck but then she stops. Her lips pull away from mine and I keep my hands on her shoulders. We stare at each other as if we made a mistake. I hate to be torn. Her fingers fall against my waist and I feel her lift me off the door before she shoves me back. I gasp a bit before shakily staring into her eyes.

"Stop making me feel like this…….just stop," she hissed through her teeth before stepping back. I lower my arms to my side before she lifts my doll off the floor and hands it to me. "Stay away."

"I don't understand."

"STAY AWAY!" her voice pierces my ears and her dad comes into the room from the kitchen. He looks between us before I let a few tears fall against my cheek.

"What's going on here?" He asks as I stand dazed and confused.

"Go home," Alex tells me as she grabs my arm and pushed me out the door. I wish my heart would just pull itself form my chest, maybe then I wouldn't feel like this. I run across the street to my house, tossing my doll onto the couch and running towards my room. I can barley hear my mom call after me. I fall onto my stomach in my room and scream into my pillow.

"Baby what's wrong? Mitchie? Mitch, talk to me," I hear my room door close as I shake my head violently."

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong, leave me alone," I let muffled voices escape me.

"What just happened?"

"She….she…"

"She? Alex?"

"She kissed me and for a moment I felt fine. But then…" I let the tears stream down my face as I sat up.

"When did she kiss you? How? You were out front." My mom was shaking her head confused as I kicked the covers off my bed.

"Just leave me alone mom, you wouldn't understand."

"You're right I wouldn't. Why do you continue to let her hurt you Mitchie?"

"Because I know she loves me."

"Baby," my mom scoots onto the bed next to me as I pull away from her hugs. "What she's doing to you…that isn't love. She's hurting you. She's making you question everything and it scares me. It scares me to know that she can control you. When you came in here and told me you would do anything to be with her. I didn't know it was going to be like this. Please baby….don't let her destroy you."

"Mom, I want to be alone," I laid against my pillow as my mom patted my knee.

"Maybe I should talk to Teresa."

"No!" I sit up. "She doesn't know."

"She doesn't know what?"

"About me and Alex. She doesn't know," I shook my head.

"Wait. Could this be a reason Alex is acting like this? Because her parents don't know about her?"

"Mom. Just leave it alone."

"Mitchie this could be a reason why she's treating you like this."

"Mom…just go!" I push her arm over and over until she stands up.

"Fine. But if she keeps hurting you. I'm gonna talk with her, and if that doesn't work, I'm going to her parents."

"NO! You can't. You can't make her hate me. You can't make her hate me," I shook my head as tears ran down my face. My mom didn't know what to do. She took a deep breath before walking out of the room as I laid against my pillow again. I could hear my project downstairs crying, but I didn't bother once to get up and take care of it.

* * *

I was shaking on my bed. It was near midnight and I was asleep shivering. A small knock came to my window. I shifted across the bed before another one came. I slowly opened my eyes to see a figure outside and I jumped up, only to notice it was Alex. I took a deep breath before looking around my room. I made it to the window and lifted it up a bit.

"Come outside," she told me as I stared at her.

"What? Its almost midnight," I faced the clock. "I can't."

"Now!" She demanded in a whisper as I looked around behind her.

"Okay, but only for a minute," I was still dressed from earlier so I climbed from the window leaving my cell phone on my dresser. "What?"

"Give me your hand."

"W-why?"

"Just give me your hand," she was waiting as I placed my hand between hers. I felt her tugging on me and I followed her into the street. It was dark outside and she stopped near a truck. "Get in."

"I can't."

"Would you get in."

"I can't," I shake my head as she tilted her head.

"I thought you loved me."

"I-I do."

"Then get in the truck." She hoped in as I walked around and climbed in the passenger side.

"But…what about what happened last time? Where are we going?"

"We're going to make me forget about you."

"What?"

"I don't want to feel this way anymore." She started the car as I my hand shook.

"Are you gonna' hurt me?"

"Do you want to listen to the radio?"

"Are you gonna' hurt me?"

"Mitchie, do you trust me?" Her words seemed to scare me.

"I don't. I don't know. I use to."

"Well it doesn't matter," she moved the car down the road as I ran my fingers in and out of the other, back and forth.

"Why do you want to forget about me?"

"Its nothing personal." She was driving and swerving along the empty road like a mad woman, but I didn't dare say anything about her driving.

"Whoa, Alex I can't go out of the city," I watched as a sign passed reading, Now Leaving Waverly.

"You're with me, I'm sure your mom wouldn't mind."

"My mom hates you," I told her as she faced me.

"Well that sucks."

"Please take me back."

"No."

"Please."

"Shut up."

"Alex please."

"I said shut up."

"I can't go out of the city," I was panicking a bit as she ran her right hand over to my arm.

"Calm down."

"Please…I.."

"Do you love me?" Her words made tears come to my eyes and my chest burn a bit.

"Yes."

"Then, shut up, and relax." I shook away from her grip before leaning against the window. There were no lights on the road we were on, no passing cars, and no other people. We moved onto a dirt road before Alex stopped the truck.

"Get out."

"What?" I faced her.

"I said get out."

"But this is in the middle of no where."

"So…get out."

"No, I want to go home."

"Ugh," Alex hopped from the truck and I shifted a bit as she opened my door. "Get out." I bit my bottom lip and shook me head no. "If I ask you again I'm going to hurt you. Get….out."

"Alex…"

"N-ow," she told me as I shook climbing from the car. She slammed my door as I watched her climb back in the car. I thought she was going to leave me but she pulled the car keys form the ignition and sat it on the seat before coming back out to me. I was shaking as she stepped up to me. She pushed me back against the car as I whimpered from her touch. I swallowed hard as her lips fell against mine and her fingers held my sides. I didn't know what was happening. Her tongue tried pushing into my mouth but I turned my head.

"Stop." I never thought I was going to say that to Alex. She pulled back with her hands still against my waist. "What are you doing?"

"Be quiet and don't talk." Her lips landed against my neck as I shook form her touch, chill bumps crawling up my arm. I gasped.

"No."

"What?"

"I said no."

"I thought this was what you wanted."

"Not like this. Not…in the middle of no where."

"Well this is what I want."

"But I don't."

"Do you love me?" Her words made it clear to me that she was using them against me. I bit my bottom lip and nodded. "Good. Then shut up." Her hands left my waist as she stepped back a bit. I took a deep breath watching her. The night air was cool and I was shaking a bit. She ran her fingers under her shirt and behind her back. The snapping noise from her bra made me shake even more. I could hear the fabric fall against the ground as she stepped up to me. Her hands landed against mine before she slid my hands under her shirt. Her stomach was smooth and warm, but once my fingers brushed against her breast I stopped breathing for a second. I only touched her like this one other time, when we were dating, but that was in the past. She pressed her lips harshly into mine causing me to fall back against the truck. She placed my hands against her breast before she began fiddling with my pants buckle.

"O-okay stop." I moved my hands away from her before stepping over. "I don't want to do this. Not out here, not like this."

"I don't have all night for your little games. You want me, and I know it. You've wanted me since I broke up with you, so either you shut up and join in, or I'll just force it on you."

"You're not gonna' do anything," I didn't know why I was feeling the sudden urge to talk back to her but I said what I said, there was no going back.

"I'll leave you out here, or have you forgotten about that?"

"No." I shake a bit as I look around me. "I just want to go home."

"And you will, once I get to the point where I can stop thinking about you. I almost lasted four months, but then you wanted to come back to me and play games with my mind. Well I'm going to play games with your heart."

"You don't love me?"

"I use to. But you see, I tried telling my mom but she flipped. And I tried telling my dad about us but, he didn't like it. So I lied and said it was something for class that I had to ask them about. I feel torn between loving you, and hating you."

"What did I do?"

"You've made me realize how much my parents hate who I am. I can never tell them about us, or to the extent where they'll understand."

"So you say things to me like you don't care? Because it hurts Alex. Every time you push me away it hurts, and when you say things like what you're saying now about forcing me…," I stop talking and open the truck door. I hear Alex walk over towards me as I sit in the seat.

"Get out the car."

"No." I'm sitting towards her before she grabs my hand and tugs on me. "Stop, I want to go home."

"SHUT UP, I DON'T CARE."

"You're right." I hit the girl's arm. "You don't care about me." I climbed into the driver's side as she hopped in the passenger side. She swung her fist at me as I ducked as her hand landed against my right shoulder. I heard the car door slam and I felt Alex pulling my arms.

"Stop it," I kicked at the girl but she slammed her hand against my leg causing a throbbing feeling. Next she shoved my back against the door before she climbed over on top of me. My legs were facing the passenger side of the car. Her fingers trailed over my cheeks before she pressed her lips into mine. Her tongue wandered around in my mouth as I shook from the feeling. I was still conflicted. I wanted this, but not like this. Her weight on the way I was pressed against the seat and door was hurting me. She pulled back a bit to study my face as I shoved my hands into her stomach.

"Hey," she grabbed my arms and placed them against the window. "Stop or I'll tie you up."

"Get off of me," I tried to break from her grip but she was stronger then I was.

"Hey…I'll tie you up. One more move and I'll tie your hands together."

"You're hurting me."

"Will you be good?"

"Yes now get off," she moved back over to the passenger seat as I cradled my legs against my chest. Her nipples were getting hard without her bra to shied them from her thin fabric top.

"Take your shirt off."

"I don't want to do this."

"You don't have a choice." I was shaking badly as I reached for the bottom rim of my shirt. I wanted to go home, and I was cursing myself the entire time. I should of stayed home. Once my stomach was exposed Alex pushed the thing in the middle of the truck down. It made the entire two seats connected. I rose my shirt up and over my head before I felt her fingers trail across my skin. Her lips met mine again as she towered over me.

"I'm going to move on," I whispered once she ran her lips over my neck. She pulled back to stare at me.

"What?"

"I will still love you. But I can't say that you doing this doesn't hurt me."

"Just shut up."

* * *

_Love is something that's totally unpredictable. Love hurts. Love is beautiful, but I wanted to love one person with all my heart that I saw past the bad. But when it was finally time to face myself, I was scared of who I became. I was no longer Mitchie Torres. I was Mitchie Torres, Alex's ex. I didn't know who I was anymore. I was living to make her happy, and I thought that's what I wanted to do. But if I have to cry another tear about that girl, I'm going to break. I want to stay true to myself. I hate being depressed, because truthfully it sucks. Your heart hurts, your body hurts, and you yearn for someone who didn't mean a thing to you in the long run. Alex was good for one thing. And that was….she helped me find myself, and for that, I guess I'll thank her._

**Its sad that I fall to sleep during the writing of all my stories now. I slept one day for like eighteen hours and didn't want to eat at all, but once I began writing I wanted to sleep again. I wanted a sort of sad one-shot. Anyway I hoped you enjoyed it.**


	2. Chapter 2

** I made this chapter, or at least half of it after the first one and decided to finish this. Enjoy, and what happened in the last one was Alex forced Mitchie to leave with her from her house the night before. Mitchie still loves Alex even though Alex wouldn't admit the same. Wow, I never had to do a..last time on…lol, anyway enjoy.**

_Its not like I've never been hurt by love before, because if I said that I'd be lying. But I wonder how much hurt can a heart take before it gives out. Before there is no more love in it for anyone. Then what?_

I gazed upon the front glass door of my house. No one seemed to be awake, but I was never sure considering our black curtains. I didn't have my key, and my room window was a bit too high for me to boost myself back into it. I reached under the "our home is your home, for a little while at least." mat, for the house key and opened the door.

"Well, well, look what the cat dragged in," I heard Mason call to me from her spot on the front couch. It was near seven in the morning so she'd usually be asleep.

"What are you doing up so early?" I push the door closed after replacing the key under the mat.

"I wanted a front row seat to mom yelling at you."

"What did I do now?" I rolled my eyes walking towards the back of the house where my room was.

"She saw you sneak out last night. OOO you're in big trouble." I study Mason. She's in her school uniform and gym shoes.

"Nothing happened." I told her as she tilted her head.

"Sure, nothing happened. To hell and back nothing happened," she giggled as I reached for a pillow on one couch and tossed it at her. She squealed as the fabric hit her bowl of cereal on the table. "You're cleaning that up," she pointed as I reached my room. My window brought in a cool breeze so I quickly closed it.

"Mitchie Patricia Torres."

"Mom," I squinted facing the woman behind my door. Her arms were crossed as I flopped on my bed.

"Where were you? How could you do this?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to go."

"And you let her talk you into it? Like always. Mitchie, no good will come out of this. Especially if its with her." My mom came over to my bed to pull me up in a sitting position. I took a deep breath as she lowered herself onto one knee to stare into my face. Her fingers ran through my hair before they brushed against my cheek.

"Are you okay?"

"Yea," I faced the window before my mom pulled me into her, kissing my forehead.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, I have to get ready for school." I answered her as she nodded.

"I wish you'd stop letting her do this to you."

"Mom, I'm fine."

"But for how long? She knows you'll give into her. Its not healthy."

"Thanks for the advice mom."

"Its not love."

"Its not a crush either."

"Yea…okay," she ran her fingers across my knee patting it before standing up. "Breakfast is at seven thirty as usual, be ready." I nodded as she left the room before I laid on my back. My heart was pounding so fast just a few moments ago and now it isn't.

…

"Students settle down, settle down. Now. Everyone has went through their first day with their babies correct? Now. Its time to pick a job and get a career, don't oo and ahh at the same time here people. Dig in the hat for a job." Mr. Johnson seemed so peppy about our projects. My fake kid had to be dead or something.

"Mitchie Torres, dig into the hat and pick a job," Mr. Johnson did a small dance as I cupped my unnamed baby, and pulled out a piece of paper with my right hand.

"I'm a….physiatrist," I shake my head as he claps.

"Awesome pick, moving on."

I studied the face of the doll in my hands. Its Asian features were a bit beaten up considering I dropped it, stuffed it into a book bag and tossed it on a couch.

"Alex," Mr. Johnson spoke happily. I faced the girl before swallowing hard. She shook her head before sighing and digging into the hat.

"I'm a….patient? That's not a job."

"Actually it is. You're one of those people who think you always have something wrong with you, therefore it is your daily job to get treated and to have someone listen to you."

"Great I'm crazy."

"You can be a patient in a hospital or in a…oh moving on," he did a small twirl as the class watched him. I couldn't because my eyes connected with Alex's. She studied me slowly, moving her eyes slowly down my body before I looked away and cradled my project. Once the cards were handed out we were each handed a worksheet. There were five patients in the class, so how did I end up with Alex as my second partner? I didn't even have a first one.

"First question," she tapped the table in front of me. We were sitting side by side.

"I don't want to work with you."

"O-okay, but yesterday you were all over me. Face it. When you get what you want, its never how you think it'll be."

"What you did yesterday…," I whispered.

"Was giving you what you wanted." I studied her eyes before looking away. I sat my project on the table before grabbing my pen. "And I don't want to hear anything else about it. Not here, not in the hall, not anywhere."

"Until what? Until you want to force yourself on me again?" Her facial expression went blank as she leaned over towards me as I faced her. We were but a few inches apart.

"You asked for it. And don't you dare try to slander my name. None of this would of happened if you weren't still trying to make you and I into us." I faced the desk as she grabbed my face forcing me to look at her. "No one will know about this, right?" I wanted the pulsing pain in my heart to stop.

"Right," she moved her hands and I bit my bottom lip.

"Now question number one."

"You've changed," I whispered before moving my pen across the page and writing my name.

"But you still love me," her fingers went under the table brushing against my knee since I was wearing a short skirt. I faced her before moving my eyes down her arm to her hand before she slowly moved her fingers up my thigh.

"Stop." I shifted in my seat as if I was going to stand. She brought her hand back onto the table before smiling a bit. I still couldn't find myself to hate her. I couldn't even find myself to blame her for what happened last night. It didn't go as far as it could of. My tears stopped that. But she'd changed.

…

"Hey Mason, I'll give you twenty dollars if you take care of my project for two hours." I was by my locker as my little sister looked up at me.

"Tell you what, you make it thirty and it's a deal."

"Why can't you just take twenty."

"Because I'm saving up for a scooter duh, thirty more bucks and I'm in."

"Fine," I handed my sister my doll and the wristband before digging into my pocket. "Fifteen now and fifteen when we get home."

"Deal, nice doing business with you," she rocked the doll in her arms as she made it to class. I saw Alex down the hall in her cheerleader uniform again. I guess there was a game today because it was the last day of spirit week.

"Hey Mitchie," I took a deep breath as I heard Shane whisper in my ear. I faced the boy.

"Hi."

"So are you going to the game?"

"Um, no," I shook my head.

"Why not. The last three games you didn't attend and we lost. Come on," he nudged my shoulder as I smiled.

"I can't. My mom wants me home to watch Mason."

"Oh yea, the pain in everyone's asses. Tell you what. If we win this game I'll bring you something nice."

"Sure you will," I watched the boy walk away. He use to like me a few years ago in junior high, and now he was just a good friend of mine.

"You know I thought about something." I faced Alex who was behind me.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. I still kind of like you." She pressed her head against my locker before flicking a few strand of my hair up into the air, watching them fall back over my shoulder.

"Don't do that."

"No really. Last night showed me that maybe I ended us a little bit too early."

"You're so stupid."

"Oh am I? I suggest you keep your comments to yourself."

"Why are you doing this? Your parents don't know you like girls and so what? You want to play with my heart until I can stop feeling? So your secret won't get out."

"Aw. No." She reached for my hair, twirling a piece between her fingers. "If we keep quiet, this can kind of work."

"You just want to sleep with me."

"Kind of the deal, but you still love me don't you?" I watched her smile cover her face before I focused on the locker door. I took a deep breath and nodded. "See, it works out. You'll have me, and I. Well, I'll give you what you want."

"I want you to love me," I spoke as the hall bell rung.

"I can't feel that way about you. I can't let myself get too emotionally involved with a girl."

"But you already love me, you just won't admit it."

"Stop trying to lie to yourself."

"Then why are you here? Then why am I always the center of your attention?" I could feel myself getting ready to yell at the girl until she shoved me against the locker.

"Because, you make it a priority to make me the center of yours." She moved back as other cheerleaders began moving through the halls. "Come to the game."

"No."

"If you're not there…well…I already know you will be," she winked at me, brushing her hand against my thigh as I took in a deep breath. I felt myself get weak from that quick touch as she turned to leave. I hated the feeling of knowing I wasn't in control of my life, she was. The girl who gave up on me was still in control of me, and the worst part about it, was that I knew it, and I let her.

…...

LET'S GO BRONCOS, LETS GO.

LET'S GO BRONCOS, LETS GO.

The chants in the gym echoed off every wall. It filled the room with chatter and cheer. Teens screamed and squealed as I sat on the bottom bench in a corner next to Shane.

"Okay if we win tonight," he was in his uniform as I nodded.

"I know, you'll give me something."

"Yeah. Hey, so how's things with you and Alex?"

"I broke up with her a while ago."

"You did?"

"Well.." I sighed. "She broke up with me."

"Dang. Well its good that you two can still talk and act all civil, you know, most people can't do that. One person gets jealous and the other goes all crazy and stalkerish, or that person moves on." Shane tapped my knee before standing. "I'll catch you after the game."

"Kay." I whispered. I watched Shane leave as the cheerleaders piled by the open double doors. I couldn't see Alex, which gave me a slight sigh of relief. I knew my mom was going to kill me for not calling her and telling her about the game and me staying after school, but I tried my best to hope Mason would tell her. The cheerleaders came out and Alex was still no where in sight. I watched the first cheer before I stood to leave. I hated myself for coming to the game in the first place. I moved into the hall only to spot Alex and Shane talking.

"So you wouldn't mind if I asked Mitchie out now, since you two are all broken up or whatever." Shane moved a basketball in his arms as Alex nodded.

"Of course not. Ask her, but I know she'll say no."

"Really?"

"I'm her best friend remember?" I found myself scoffing at the girl's words. "But ask if you must."

"I will." Shane looked behind him before moving down the hall to the other side where the team would be. I was surprised neither of them saw me, so I turned to walk back into the gym when Alex called me.

"Mitchie, come here." My heart stopped at her words.

"The game is about to start."

"COME HERE." She demanded. I wasn't sure what to do. I stood where I was as the gym grew louder, meaning the game was on the way. I finally took a deep breath and made it over to the girl.

"I have to go home."

"I don't care, but listen to me." Her eyes were burning into mine.

"Okay."

"If Shane asks you out, tell him no."

"I don't want to go out with Shane, but even if I did.."

"You'd say no."

"Whatever." I looked towards my hands.

"You made me miss the beginning of my cheer."

"I did not."

"Shane stopped me to talk about you. Meaning this is your fault."

"Can I go home now?" My head was hurting a bit, but my heart was hurting worse.

"Sure. But I want to see you after the game. You don't mind coming to my house do you?"

"My mom doesn't want me to see you."

"Who cares. She use to like me," Alex moved towards the gym. "I better see you at my house at seven."

"Or what?" I mumbled.

"Don't make me show you OR WHAT." She disappeared inside the gym. I was starting to feel numb, like her words didn't matter, her feelings towards me didn't hurt as much as they did last night. I made it out of the school building, watching the birds in the sky just before I stopped. Alex was using me, and even though I knew it I didn't get the feeling of it until just then. I bit my bottom lip before shaking my head. I wasn't going to go to her house, no matter how badly my heart just wanted to be near her.

…

"I can't wait to do this project." Mason told me, sitting on my bed as she fed the fake baby in her arms.

"Well its not really a good project to do, especially if you need a partner." I closed the blinds in my room as Mason watched me. She was listening to some type of music on the radio that I didn't care much for.

"Why didn't you go to the game?"

"I didn't want to be with Alex."

"She's being a bitch huh?"

"Don't talk like that."

"You're mad I'm calling her a bitch? Because she really is one. She shouldn't boss you around. I saw when she shoved you in the hall. You should tell mom."

"And then what? It won't make a difference. I still love her and I know it. And its stupid and I let her hurt me and.."

"Its okay Mitchie. Its not your fault, she's like a evil witch or something, putting spells on you and stuff." I faced Mason as she made a face. I giggled.

"Its partly my fault. I want my heart to stop feeling like this. I want to stop loving her, because I know she doesn't love me. Or she does and she can't admit it…and I just..I don't need Alex."

"You really don't, she's not good enough for you." Mason placed the doll on the bed before standing on the sheets. "You should let Shane take you out, as a friend."

"You're a nosy little sister."

"Oh come on, and maybe you'll see that you don't need to think about you know who all the time."

"But she told me not to go with him."

"So! She's not the boss of you." Mason flopped on the bed before getting onto the floor and standing.

"But I give her power over me."

"No." Mason ran and hit my hand before pointing at my nose as best as she could. "She's not the boss of you, she can't have power over you, if you don't give it to her. Stop acting like you care about her."

"But I do."

"So, don't let her know that you do."

"Mason its not that easy."

"Mitchie, make it that easy. I'm tired of her hurting you. That and the fact that she could possibly kidnap you or something, and you'd let her."

"I wouldn't let it get that far." I finally sat on my bed as Mason shook her head.

"Mitchie. You should try your best to forget her. Love is stupid."

"You're twelve, you don't know anything. She loved me before."

"But she doesn't now, she…she only loves herself." Mason stopped talking as my mom appeared in the door.

"I have to go out and get things for dinner, you girls want to come?"

"No," I shook my head as Mason narrowed her eyes at me.

"I'll stay with Mitchie."

"Okay, I'll be back in a half an hour."

Once my mom left the house I went into the living room to glance out the window. Alex was tapping her foot on the pavement with her arms crossed staring at the house. I took a few deep breaths. She seemed pissed and I knew why. It was my fault.

"Lets play checkers."

"No, I um.." I studied Alex. She looked between the house and the ground.

"Oh no." Mason ran to the window to look out. "You are not going over there."

"I know. I'm staying here."

"Good." She blinked hard before I snickered. "Lets play, um monopoly."

"I just..I don't want to play." I couldn't look away from Alex. She began pacing back and forth as Mason hit my arm.

"Fine, lets stalk the girl across the street until she explodes."

"That sounded weird."

"I know." She smiled before I shook my head moving towards the kitchen. "Do you want some ice-cream?"

"Sure, Vanilla please, with peanuts."

"Okay." I pulled two bowls from the cabinet. The kitchen was easy to maneuver around and in no time, I had two vanilla bowls of ice-cream in my hand before I gave them to Mason to set on the table as I grabbed spoons. We ate quietly watching cartoons as time passed. I heard a car door slam so I sat up as the door bell rung. Usually my mom would ring the bell for us to help her.

"Come on Mason." I moved towards the door opening it as Mason stuffed the last scoops of ice-cream into her mouth.

"Its past seven." Alex was at the door, and before she could say anything else she tugged on my arm.

"Let me go."

"You were suppose to be at my house."

"So."

"So?" She stopped tugging on me as she let me go to stare at me. "So?...so?"

"Alex, I'm watching my little sister."

"Fine. Lets watch her." She moved past me as I shook my head but kept my mouth closed. We made it into the house, closing the door as Mason stood in her shoes.

"What is she in here for?"

"I'm watching you." She placed her hand on Mason's head before shaking her head from one side to the next before moving away.

"Mitchie, get her out of here."

"I.."

"Fine, I'll make her leave." Mason turned towards Alex as I pulled her arm.

"Go to my room, I-I'll make her leave."

"If mom sees her here she's gonna flip."

"Just go. She'll leave."

"I don't know about leaving her here with you." Mason studied Alex as the brunette turned up her nose.

"Please Mason. I'll be fine."

"Ugh. You've got four…no three minutes." She rose her fingers before giving Alex the "fuck you" hand sign.

"Mason!" The girl walked away as I sighed.

"I hate that little girl." Alex told me. She was running her fingers across my mom's glass vases in the corner.

"Please, you can't be here."

"And you can't tell me where I can or cannot be. Besides, remember, we're dating again."

"What? No we aren't?"

"Isn't that what you want? To be dating me?"

"I-I..I-I did..-didn't…I mean."

"I'll take that as a yes." She moved over to me as my heart felt like it was having its own little war.

"I can't..I can't do this to myself again." My voice was shaky, and I could hear it.

"But you will." She whispered against my lips as I looked away.

"You have to go."

"How about we put the brat outside for a little while?"

"What?" I refaced the girl before shaking my head. "No. You have to go."

"Make me." She tilted her head as I shook my head no. "Because you can't, because you still love me, baby love is so overrated."

"I don't want to love you." I let out. The room grew quiet as Mason opened the door and came towards the room again.

"Mitchie she needs to be out of here."

Another car door slammed outside as Mason checked.

"Its mom." I watched my little sister move towards the door as I pulled Alex's hand. She climbed from my room window before, when we were actually on good terms. I closed myself and Alex inside before lifting the window.

"Leave."

"We're in your room." She smiled.

"Leave before my mother kills you, because she hates you, a lot."

"So what. I can make you leave with me if I wanted to." I bit my bottom lip, stomping on the floor one good time. I knew it was true, but I was doing my best to push myself away from her.

"Please leave…please…please."

"Ugh. You whine a lot do you know that?" Alex moved towards me. I couldn't hear Mason or my mom so I suppose Mason kept quiet, or was helping my mom with the groceries. "Fine. I'll leave. But I want you tonight."

"What?"

"You heard me. Meet me outside around midnight."

"No."

"Why are you keep saying no to me?" Alex placed her fingers on either sides of my face, pressing hard against my skin.

"Stop." I quickly swatted her hand. "I told you. I can't keep doing this." I moved towards the window again. "Just go."

"And what are you going to do if I don't?" I didn't know what else to say to the girl, I wasn't going to tell my mom she was in the room, because one, I would get in trouble for it and two, my mom would be extremely pissed because I let her in the house.

"Mitchie!" My mom called to me.

"Please Alex, just leave."

"Are you going to meet me later?"

"Yes, now go." I lied, and for once I didn't feel guilty about doing so.

"Good girl." One moment Alex was in the room, and the next she wasn't. I brushed my hair from my face, taking a deep breath. It was hard for me to push Alex away, but I knew it was what I had to do.

**So I'll see how far I can carry this because I actually like it now, besides I can write this more then Crush right now. With everything between no Demi and Selena news that helps my writing, and drama, I just can't write as much as I could.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Oh gosh, note to self, write at night, but don't write while sleepy. I woke up to laughing at some of the words I had in this piece. Glad I actually re-read something. Enjoy.**

_There's always a time in my life when I feel as if I'm being watched, but not just the normal kind when the hairs stand up on your neck, but the type where it feels as if eyes are burning in through the back of your skull._

Dinner was oddly quiet tonight. My mom was staring between Mason and I as we ate. I did my best to figure out if I should speak or stay quiet. If Mason told my mom about Alex being in the house then I should prepare myself for the semi-yelling before my mom tells me she understands. How can she understand anything I'm going through when I myself am completely clueless?

"Well tomorrow is Saturday…," a small whisper broke the silence in the room. I took a deep breath before nodding. My mom continued with, "so what are you girls doing? Maybe a shopping trip with me?" My mom sounded excited. Mason quickly nodded. I didn't know what to say. Yes, no, maybe. My mind wasn't set on shopping this weekend, but neither was being Alex's puppet. I ran my fingers against the cool glass china plate before lifting my eyes toward the backyard window. The darkness seemed eerie to me. I swallowed hard before my mom spoke again.

"What do you say Mitchie? A girls day out, how about it?"

"I don't think I'll be able to." I explain to her. I can feel the tension in the room, the awkward silence, and my mother's burning eyes.

"Mitchie please don't make this about Alex again."

"You're the one always bringing her up. I just need to do my project that's all. I don't want to walk around with a doll in my arms. People might actually mistake it for a real child." I placed my fork near my plate before glancing out the window again. My heart was beating slowly, steady, oddly to the beat of my breaths.

"Okay honey. Maybe next weekend." She studies my face. I can feel her eyes wondering around me but still I stay quiet. It becomes harder for me to pry my eyes from the back window, until I stand and move toward the sink.

"I can't believe you girls ate ice-cream before dinner." My mom began cleaning off the table as Mason giggled and spoke. I ran my fingers against the thick rough drapes, pulling a small piece of the fabric back to peer outside. My heart seemed to slow down just before my mouth dropped open. It was like seeing a ghost staring back at you. I felt light headed upon seeing my own reflection staring back at me. I stumbled away from the window and quickly made it to my room, holding on the wall for leverage. My mother nor Mason followed me, which gave me a slight sense of relief. I fell against my bed, the sheets engulfing me as the moonlight played against the wall. The darkness in my room is no longer a comfort, its eerie. I take a few deep breaths, letting my eyes roam the small spaces between each item on the floor before I sit up.

"A-Alex?" I ask to the walls in my room, my eyes trying to sense movement. My skin was getting cold and moist as I pressed my back harshly into the headboard. Even the plush fabric made me shiver. It felt as if I was pressed against a cool wet surface. I shifted across my bed as fast as I could to flick on the room light, and once I did the reality of everything being in my head came rushing back to me. The window was locked, and the room seemed pretty secure.

"Mitchie, would you like a brownie?" My mom calls to me as I stay quiet. The room is lit in a dull yellowish color.

"N-no, I'm going to sleep." Those were the last words I said that night before sliding under my warm covers, letting the fabric engulf me, and protect me. The room light stayed on, guarding me from whatever didn't lurk in the dark, but what my mind decided to play with.

The next morning I awoke to silence. The kind of silence that makes your ears rings a bit as if you were taking some type of test. I bit my bottom lip before stretching, letting my feet hit the room floor with a gentle touch.

"Mom!" I called out, leaving my room and marching down the hall. Nothing.

"Mom, Mason!" My words become nothing but unanswered echoes.

"Well goodbye to you too." I moved into the kitchen, sliding cereal in front of me as a knock came to the house door. I stand where I am, letting my body freeze as stiff as a board.

"Mitchie I know you're in there and I want you to open this door now."

I find myself wishing I'd left with my mom this morning. Alex seemed to know my every move. When I woke, when I slept, maybe she kept track of my breathing, but then again, I use to keep track of everything she did. I tilted my head towards the living room, spotting the silhouette of the girl's body outline the window. I take a deep breath, letting my eyes wonder around the house a few times before I take one step forward and another one back.

"Mitchie! Okay fine, don't open the door."

Alex stood silent against the porch. Her words fade and her arms become crossed. I watch her, unmoving and its unsettling. I feel horrible thinking about what she could do to me if I let her in the house and I was alone, but I felt ever worse leaving her outside. I pushed my sides in with my fingers but my stomach continued to feel warm and tingly. I finally decided to take a deep breath and move into the living room. I heard tapping from outside, slow, almost quiet, tapping. Alex's foot was moving against the hardwood in a beat like motion.

My phone began to buzz in my room, the sound of the phone breaking the silence in the house. Then just like magic, the project began to cry. I moved into my room as best as I could without making any noise. I pulled the project up and cradled it, before pushing my phone against my ear.

"Hello?"

"Mitch?" It was Shane.

"Yeah, hey."

"Where were you? I thought you were watching the entire game last night, but you bailed."

"Yeah I'm sorry." I look at the project kicking its feet before I roll my eyes.

"What is that?"

"Its my baby, I-I mean project baby. Look Shane, I'll call you in a few."

"Wait," the boy stopped my finger from hitting the 'end' button.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come over today? I thought I could give you a little something. We won the game. You would have known if you stayed."

"Um. Sure, I'll be here."

"Okay…bye."

I didn't hear Shane tell me goodbye, but I knew that's what would of came from his lips next. I pulled the small plastic bottle into my arms from the project's car seat and began feeding it, just before a knock came to my window. I almost fell against my bed when I saw a shadow shifting back and forth. The project slowly cooed at the actions I was doing to it, so I set it down, forgetting to burp it. I moved on the balls of my feet trying to get a glimpse of the figure outside. My heart was racing, but not to the point where the phone in my hand was going to dial '9-1' and if necessary '1.'

"Mitchie?" Alex's voice seemed less demanding then when she was near the front. My heart began picking up speed as I took a few deep breaths. It felt a bit like a role reversal, I was trying hard to push Alex away while she was trying desperately to get back into my life. Its exactly what I would of done just days ago. It was something I'd still do if I didn't feel so worn out by how the girl was treating me for the past few months.

"Mitchie, lets not play hardball, now open the door before I get the spare key under the little gnome thing and be forced to hurt you."

I nodded to myself before my project broke into a fit of tears. I quickly lifted it into my arms and made it to the back door while burping the electronic baby. Alex's face was flushed red. The heat outside was overpowering as the girl pushed past me without a word. She stood before me in a thin green baby-doll top and short shorts. Her boots came up to her calf in a dark brownish color that matched a necklace around her neck. Alex pushed a few strands of hair away from her face as I closed the door.

"Is it hot out there?" That was a stupid question but I didn't know what else to say.

"I know you heard me call you."

"I was taking care of my project." I lifted the doll up before staring at it. The eyes were slightly closed which meant it had to be put back to bed. I moved around Alex without any problem and into my room, where the girl followed.

"If you want me to stop playing this little game of cat and mouse with you I will." Her voice seemed calm, normal even.

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean. I've realized that I've began chasing you. Huh, well I'm done with it. I like it the other way around."

"I'm not chasing you anymore. You can do whatever you want." I barley let those words fall from my lips. My chest tightened at those words but once they fell it eased the tension a bit.

"Good. How would you like it if I spoke to Shane for you?" Alex watched my eyes study her with curiosity.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he likes you and I just realized. That's a good way to get rid of you. And you to stop thinking about me." Alex faced the room door, running her fingers along the rim of the frame. I moved towards my window, a few feet away.

"I don't like Shane in that way. He's just a friend."

"Well he like you. We can't have you hurting him now can we?"

"We?" I asked as Alex faced me. Her hand gripping the doorknob.

"We. Me and you. Shane's a nice boy isn't he?" I found Alex waiting for an answer. I didn't speak, I let her words echo into the air before fading away. "I asked you a question Mitchie."

"He's nice." I told her as she nodded.

"Nice. That he is. But you see, all nice boys want something from nice girls." Alex tilted her head before slowly pushing the door closed. I moved over to her, grabbing her fingers.

"Don't close the door."

"Stop touching me." Her voice was scaring me. It was the same. Still normal. Still not like Alex. "Now you have everything a boy like Shane would want."

"He's just a friend, and I'm not dating him. I'm not going to."

"Yeah, but." I watched Alex moved over towards my bed. She fell onto her back against the sheets, lifting a teddy bear from my dresser and holding it above her head. "What if he just really….really….really, wants to be with you."

"I don't understand."

"Come sit." Alex sat up quickly, placing the bear between her crossed legs, as she ran her fingers against the fur between its eyes.

"No." I shook my head. I felt safer at the room door.

"Sit."

"I.."

"SIT!" She demanded. I didn't feel as threatened as I usually did. Maybe she came to just talk. I pushed the door completely open and sat on the edge of the bed. Alex dropped Gumdrop, a bear of mine since childhood onto the floor. She inched her way up to me before sitting behind me. Maybe it was a dumb decision to sit with my back toward the girl.

"Now we can lead Shane into thinking he wants you. But in reality, you only want me, but Shane doesn't have to know that. I won't need to be with you, and.."

"Alex its getting easier to ignore you."

"Don't cut me off, I'm talking." Alex was near my ear, her breath playing against my skin, causing me to take a few deep breaths. She brought her hands up to my waist, holding them there as if they belonged. I felt weak in her grip, lost even. I didn't know whether to feel comfortable between her arms, or scared. Alex slid her body into my back, causing me to close my eyes. I wanted to envision her away from me, or back to a time where we were actually on good terms. I felt her knees brush my sides as her chin sat on my shoulder. She continued to moved her fingers forward, before locking them across my stomach. I opened my eyes, letting the feel of Alex's body over take mine.

"Now, we have to play with Shane, and in the end, you'll see that I'm better then he is, but…you can't have me, and will have to settle for him." I don't think Alex even understood the point of her plan.

"Shane's just a friend."

With those words Alex's lips landed against my neck. My body gave way quickly in her arms. I was stupid to think I had control over anything. I thought my mind was strong enough to say no to her, and at a point it was. But I didn't count on one thing, my body being weaker. I found my head nestled against the girl's shoulder when she sat up against the sheets. Her fingers still around me, my eyes half dazed. Alex kissed my cheek, her lips burning my skin from the touch.

"Now…," I felt her hands move. My stomach was beginning to cramp a bit, in a way that made me suck in a lot of air. I moved my arms finally, running them along Alex's, trying to push her away but I failed. My body wanted to be touched by hers even after everything she put me though.

"You have to call Shane." She slid her fingers down my leg. I felt the sharp electric pulse climb across my body, from her fingers to my thighs, and up toward my heart. My entire body became submissive to Alex's touch.

"Call Shane." She told me as I shook my head against her shoulder. I couldn't sit up, nor pull away from her when she was being gentle with me. Alex placed her lips against my cheek again before her fingers slid up my inner thigh. My skirt was smoothly sliding against my skin.

"No." I finally sat up before pulling Alex's fingers away and moving off the bed. "What am I doing, you can't be here."

"But you clearly want me here."

"No. You have to go."

"This is your punishment for leaving me outside last night, or did you think I'd simply forget that you lied to me?"

"I couldn't see you last night. I had to get you out of here."

"Well guess what? You're not getting rid of me that easily today. You're going to call Shane and tell him to come over. And we're going to have a little fun with him."

"You keep saying we. I'm not hurting my friend."

"Listen." Alex pushed herself from the bed as I inched toward the door.

"Either we mess with Shane, or I…" a smirk played across her face. Finally the Alex I've seen recently shone through that expression. "Lets just say that I have a few tricks up my sleeve that you will have to obey."

"You can't force me to do anything that I don't want to."

"Aw, who told you that, your mommy?" Alex giggled as I moved out into the hall.

"Mitchie, when I'm talking to you, there is no leaving out."

"You aren't yourself. Maybe you should get some sleep at home." I just felt the rushing regret of a few moments ago flow across me.

"The only way you're getting me out of here, is if I see you naked, stripped down to nothing except that beautiful wrist band of yours that I bought. Or…we play a little game with Shane."

"I'm not losing another friend." I didn't notice how bad my words came out until Alex spoke.

"You lost a friend? Am I that friend? Because if so, then I should have no sympathy in how badly I hurt you." Those eyes were the ones I saw nights ago in the truck.

"What do you want from me?" I whispered as Alex let a smirk play across her lips.

"I want us to play a little game." She stopped speaking when a knock came to the house door. I didn't want to move because if it was my mom I was going to be in trouble with Alex in the house, and if it was Shane I felt as if I'd be forced to hurt him. I admit no one, not even Alex had the right to make me do something I didn't want to, but that never meant that it wouldn't happen.

"Well, go answer the door stupid." Alex moved past me before sitting against the sofa. I pulled the front door open spotting Mrs. Russo staring at me.

"Is Alex in there?"

"Uh, no." I knew from the last time that Alex was never allowed inside my house, but I could freely move about hers.

"If you see her, tell her that her father has something he wants to talk to her about."

"What is it?" Usually that question wouldn't cause a glare from the woman.

"Just tell her, thank you." She moved toward the street again as Alex crossed her legs in front of her on the coffee table. I closed the door and faced her.

"What was that about?"

"How should I know."

"What if your mom or dad found those drawings you use to do." I didn't say anything else after that. Alex narrowed her eyes at me before sitting up. Her legs still on the table in front of her.

"They couldn't have found them. I had them locked in a box, under my bed, in my room."

Alex was a great artist, that I'd admit. But she never used her talent as much as she should have. The further we grew apart, the less she began sketching or placing things onto blank sheets of paper. I wondered at times what was going through her head. One minute she seemed like the Alex I knew, and the next, like a completely new Alex I hated to be around.

"Go see if they found those books." Alex moved towards me before I stepped back, letting her moved toward my front door.

"Your mom didn't want to tell me what it was…"

"Listen to me, just go through the back door and up to my room and check will you." The color seemed to drain from Alex's face a bit as I moved over toward her.

"I think its better this way. The truth will set you free remember?"

I was about to giggle just before I felt finger move across both my wrists. I found myself pinned to the door with my arms to my side.

"Go over there, and check."

Her drawing books were filled with beautiful pictures of everyday life. Things such as animals, places, and people, or mostly me. And lets just say half the time I was half clothed or not nearly clothed enough. I didn't mind Alex having the photos of me, she was suppose to be my forever.

"Now." She gazed into my eyes as I pulled my arms away from her. I opened the house door and went outside, letting Alex stay where she was. The sun was still high in the sky, blinding mostly. The air was thick and barley breathable. I took my time walking across the street and I didn't even have to enter the Russo's home to notice that both, or at least one of her parents found those pictures. Ii was hoping her mom found them, it was be less weird if her mom saw me naked instead of her dad. I peered through the glass door, the curtains were drawn back and Alex's green box was open with sketch books laying against the front couch.

I refaced my house to walk back before Russo's house door opened.

"Mitchie, can I talk to you about something?" Mr. Russo, Jerry for short, stood at the door with a book in his hands.

"Um. Sure, what about?" I felt the best way to get through this was to act clueless.

"Do you know where Alex is?"

"No." I answered the man quickly as he thumbed the edge of one of her sketch books.

"Oh. Um. Here let me show you something." He disappeared inside and I followed. Mrs. Russo was in the kitchen moving dishes from one cabinet to the other and I was waiting for the worse to happen, which I was clueless to what it might be.

"Alex has a few drawings here and there of you, and I mean she does have a active imagination." Jerry chuckled dryly to himself as I nodded. "I don't know if you want to see them but, the drawings are of you. I couldn't look past the few I already saw."

I froze watching the man's facial expression. He seemed a bit sick just talking about it.

"Jerry what are you doing? Give me those." Teresa stormed into the room pulling the books away from her husband.

"We have to let her know, this isn't normal Teresa."

"Okay maybe they were for class or something, don't ruin the girl's friendship."

I didn't know if I should stop either of them from talking. If I told them we were no longer friends maybe they would show me the pictures, but then again I didn't know how much they knew about Alex and I.

"Look I'm showing her." Jerry handed me the book in his arms as Teresa came over to grab it. I let her pry it away from me. I wanted to leave the illusion that I had no idea what either of them were talking about.

"I-I should go home." I looked past the two as they nodded. Jerry began complaining to Teresa and I made my way back home.

"Okay there is some good news and some bad news." I moved into the living room only to stop where I was upon seeing Shane.

"You're here already?" I asked the boy.

"Yeah. I didn't know Alex was over. Don't tell me you two are trying to make up."

I studied the girl as she rose her eyebrow. I couldn't deny that my heart still wanted her, but my mind was making it a bit easier for me to ignore her.

"What does it matter to you?" I asked Shane, not letting him know that I knew he wanted to ask me out.

"Well rawr to you too. Here." Shane pulled a few roses from behind his back as Alex pretended to gag on the couch.

"Thanks." I didn't want to take the flowers, but I found myself doing just that.

"Um. So Alex said it was okay for me to ask you something." Shane followed me into the kitchen and I didn't want to humiliate him so I quickly spoke.

"We're getting back together." Saying those words made a smile run across my face. Shane nodded.

"Oh. Um."

"Did you want to ask me something?"

"No." He watched me fill a old vase with water before we made it into the living room. I sat on a chair as Shane sat next to Alex.

"So, what's happening at my house?"

"They found them." I told her.

"WHAT?"

"What a genius you must be to place them under your bed."

"Shut up."

"I mean really, that's like the first place someone should look if they want to find something."

Alex stood as Shane focused his attention between us. I didn't feel bad about the pictures, I didn't then and I didn't now.

"Okay I need to make up a lie."

"Why can't you just tell them the truth. Maybe they'd let us be together."

"What part of I don't want to be with you, don't you get?"

Shane faced me as I felt a sharp pain pierced through my chest. I couldn't focus on Alex anymore. My hands became my focal point. She paced from one end of the room to the next as Shane spoke.

"I thought you two were getting back together?"

"We are." I told him. I wish I didn't have to be so stupid. I wanted to just let Alex move on, if she could, but by the looks of it, she needed me more now then ever.

"She sounded pretty convincing that you weren't."

"We are." I repeated as Shane came over to me. He sat near my feet.

"Is that we are spelled 'w-e a-r-e-n-t'?"

"No. Its spelled 'I h-o-p-e s-o.'"

I didn't feel threatened by Alex during the day. It felt amazing to be able to be me without getting yelled at or scared half to death.

"Mitchie we have to go." Alex broke my thoughts as I faced her.

"Where?"

"Does it matter. Lets go. I'll get the truck, meet me outside in three minutes."

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Either you walk outside, or I'll drag you there, but you're going." Alex left quickly as Shane stood.

"What the hell is up with her?"

"I don't know." I let my eyes play across the open front door before I stood.

"You're not going are you? She seemed pissed at something."

"What? Uh…I have to."

"No…you don't."

"Shane you wouldn't understand."

"I understand clearly, you're letting her force you into something you don't want to do."

"Shane Alex can't hurt me." My stomach felt as if it dropped once those words fell from my lips, "she wouldn't hurt me. I'll be fine."

"Okay, I'll follow her in my car, just to be on the safe side."

"Shane, that'll only make it worse. We can hang out later." I didn't say anything else and neither did he. His eyes seemed worried but he left out the house anyway. I ran into my room, running my fingers through my hair as it gently fell to the side of my face. I didn't want my mom to worry so I wrote a quick note saying I was going out with Shane and I'd be back a bit later. I ignored the project next to me before grabbing my cell phone and making it to the front door. Alex had her truck as Teresa called her to come inside the house.

"Lets go Torres." Alex called to me as I moved toward the truck. I peered inside of the thing before looking up.

"Where are we going?"

"Just get in."

"Where are we going?"

"Don't you trust me?" Alex asked in a irritated tone.

"No. Not really."

"Mitchie, just get in the car."

Jerry began running towards the truck as I climbed in and Alex drove off.

"My mom is going to kill me for going with you."

"Who cares. We have to work out a lie."

"A lie for…..?"

"About us you idiot."

"I'm not a idiot, and will you stop driving like you're trying to get away from someone." I pulled my seatbelt across my waist as Alex gazed at me. For a quick second, her eyes were soft and scared. I sat confused before she looked away from me.

"So, you…don't want your parents ever finding out about….what we were. Who we are?"

"We aren't anything."

"Alex who are you trying to protect? You're only hurting yourself. My mom knew about us from day one and here you are lying to everyone as if…what are you scared of?"

"This is quiet time." Alex faced me before shooting me an evil glance. I faced the window before I pushed myself into my seat. The wind blew through the car warmly as trees passed by and houses became farm land.

"Wait. Alex." I sat up as the girl continued to drive. "I told you I can't leave Waverly."

"Shut up."

"No. I demand you to stop this car right now."

"Or you'll what?"

"I'll call my mom." I rose my phone from my back pocket as Alex reached over to grab it. I moved away from her a bit as the car swerved.

"Give me the phone Mitchie."

"No." I did infact dial my mom before Alex stopped the car abruptly. My phone hit the windshield causing a small crack to spread onto the glass. Alex faced me and I looked away from her.

"Next time," she pulled the phone into her hand, "you do what I say." I watched as she flung my phone from the car.

"HEY!" I screamed as I watched the entire thing slam onto the ground. Alex pulled off again and I hit her arm. She gripped my wrist without facing me as she drove again.

"Next time Mitchie, I won't be so nice." She gripped the steering wheel as I took a deep breath. I hate being the stupid girl that does whatever she's told.

"Where are we going Alex?"

"I need to do something." She told me.

"Do what exactly?"

"Stop talking. I need to think and drive."

"I want to go home."

"If you hadn't noticed I don't care."

"You need to admit that you need me. Why else would you always do this?"

"I'm driving, and if I have to hit you to get you to shut up I will."

"Why is it so hard for you to admit that you not only want me, but you need me. Why else would you keep coming back. Why else would we go back and forth with each other if we didn't actually need each other. We're in this together Alex, rather you want to admit it or not."

Nothing else was said, and Alex didn't reach towards me. She did however swerve onto a side road. I noticed it as the one from the night before.

"Why are we here?" My question went unanswered. Alex stopped, parked, and faced me.

"Okay." She whispered.

"Okay what?"

"Would you shut up!" I was getting tired of her words. I crossed my arms after sitting back. "I admit it. I need you."

I didn't actually think I'd hear that from her.

"But I don't want to need you."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means that if you keep talking when I'm…"

"Okay, go, talk."

Alex pulled her seatbelt off signaling me to do the same. I didn't move. I didn't want a repeat of the other night to happen.

"I was fine being Alex. I was fine knowing who I was….but, changing….not knowing who I was becoming…it scared me…it still scares me."

"I don't get it."

"Can you please let me talk."

"If you want me to actually believe that you need me, then stop acting like this and talk normal. Actually talk TO me and not AT me."

Alex opened her car door and climbed out with her keys. I watched her toss them into the corn fields that spread on either side. I hopped out behind her.

"What did you do that for?"

"Because if you think that you can control part of my life, you're sadly mistaken."

"Wha…"

"I use to know who Alex was, and then you made me into someone I never knew I could be. And I didn't want to change and be that girl. No matter how badly my heart wanted…wants to be that girl. I knew who Alex was. And you made me forget."

"What?" I shook my head. "You're still Alex, a manipulative version, but you're still Alex."

"I can't do anything without thinking about you. I can't breath, eat, sleep, or even look out my window without…I've been trying really hard to stop. I want to live without needing you."

"Its okay to need someone. I need you."

"I don't want to need you, because needing people only leads to you getting hurt."

"Alex I would never hurt you." The sun was scorching hot as I took a deep breath.

"Yeah well I don't mind hurting you. I can force you into doing things I know you don't want to do. I'd hit you in a second, and yet…the more I do these things to hurt you…I find I'm hurting myself too."

"Then stop."

"Its not that easy. It'll be easier if I can't hurt you anymore, and then I won't be able to hurt myself."

I watched Alex move toward the field, her fingers brushing the corn stalks as I crossed my arms.

"I-I want you to be the Alex I fell in love with, if that helps."

Alex faced me. Her eyes studying me before she tilted her head. She made it over to the truck where I stood before she brushed her nails against my arm. It was too hot to even breath straight let alone think straight. She ran her nails up to my shoulders before placing her hands against my cheeks. I didn't protest against her gentle caresses. She shifted into me, her body pressed against mine. Her eyes stayed connected with mine as a silent faint beat of my heart burned my ears. Her lips landed against mine slowly. They were meant to be like this, without harsh causes. I felt her walking into me and I moved back. Her lips gently running across mine, sending a long lost shiver up my spine. I closed my eyes as the thick air filled my lungs. Then just as if it was all a dream, my back was slammed against the hot truck. I quickly tried to move as Alex studied my eyes.

"I can't be this Alex. My world just won't allow it." She moved away from me. My arms and back were hot as I tried to cool them off with excessive rubbing.

"Why not? You clearly love me, although you have a weird way of showing it."

"You're right. I do. But you see…love can't get you anywhere. Love can't get your parents to like who you are, even though they're your world. Love can't make you stop hurting the one person who actually will give their life for you. Love is stupid. Love is pointless. Love only hurts. And I've come to terms with that."

"But…"

"Move on Mitchie. I'm not worth it."

"I can't." I covered my eyes for a second with my hands before moving towards Alex. "You're the only one I want to be with."

"Why?"

"Because…I knew the Alex that you were. And I knew the Alex you became…and I'll help you find the Alex that you want to be."

The harsh air was making my throat dry as the sun blazed around us.

"I don't think I'll ever understand you Mitchie. Why won't you take no for an answer?"

"Well." I tilted my head a bit trying to block the sun. "I don't think you should ever give up on your first love. Unless necessary." I giggled as Alex shook her head. "But you're worth it."

"I'm worth it?" Alex shook her head before sighing. "Whatever you say…but um. You do know the keys to the truck are like…somewhere."

"Yeah. Which wasn't a smart idea to toss them into the field." I didn't see much change in Alex just then, but I did see her lighten up a bit. She had to, we had to search for the truck keys.

**My aunt's cat split the little piece of flesh between my middle and index finger, so typing hurts but I did more typing like this then I did days before. And I'm not sure if it'll be another chapter of this, I love suggestions though.**


	4. Chapter 4

** You guys have no idea how long I've had this and many other stories, but never updated. Summer is actually fun this year, so my bad, really. My Toshiba is broken, and this isn't the only update you'll hear that from. I'm seeing Selena tomorrow, and my update on CRUSH in the next 5 days will tell you about my Demi concert.**

I could barley breath. The sun was scorching my back as I crawled on my knees through the corn stalks, looking for Alex's truck keys. I couldn't see nor hear her, but I knew she was doing the same thing. And just as I found something blinding me in the short distance, a screeching noise echoed behind me. It sounded as if a car came to an abrupt stop.

"What are you doing here?" Alex was talking to someone. I stood before reaching for the keys that were in front of me and heading back to the sound of the girl's voice.

"Where's Mitchie?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Alex screamed again as I noticed the boy's voice as Shane's. I was almost near the both of them when I heard something crash.

"Alex?" I called out to the girl before I saw her standing with her arms crossed and an odd expression on her face. I moved from the field to spot Shane's car pressed against the back of Alex's.

"Shane what did you do?" I asked the boy, getting ready to run over to him but was stopped by Alex pulling me back by my wrist. I faced her but she had her eyes set on Shane. She pulled her keys from my hand and tugged me along with her to her truck.

"Mitchie I'll take you home. Don't let her do this to you."

"Shane I'm fine." Alex stopped by the front car door after opening it. She glanced at me before letting my arm go.

"You told him to follow me?"

"No."

"Wow. You really thought I'd hurt you."

"No. I know you won't hurt me. He didn't like the way you were talking to me so he kind of followed I guess. I didn't know he would."

"He crashed into my truck." Alex lifted my hand again before pushing me into the driver seat.

"I know. He was stupid."

"Oh stupid doesn't cut it."

She moved away from me, with the keys in her hand as I watched her through the rear view mirror. She moved over to Shane and without speaking she punched him square in the face.

"ALEX!" I hopped from the vehicle before she raised her hand at me, lifting her hand to tell me to stop and stay where I was. Shane stood up getting ready to swing at the girl but she only moved, causing him to crash against the dirt road. Alex smiled and seemed pleased, moving back to the car. I climbed back in before she tossed me the keys and hopped in the passenger side.

"I'm not leaving Shane like that."

"Drive."

"No. Why won't you drive?"

"MITCHIE…drive," she rose her voice before lowering it. I studied her before starting the truck and pulling off, making a u-turn and leaving Shane, stumbling to get up. I felt horrible leaving him like that, but he hopped in his car right after we turned the corner. I saw him following us again. After a few miles I noticed why Alex chose me to drive instead of herself. If Shane saw me driving he wouldn't ram the car, but if Alex was driving, and although I'd still technically be IN the car, he'd hit the bumper over and over.

"Okay so how far until we're back in Waverly?" I asked trying to find a road sign anywhere. My fingers were shaking a bit as Shane drove up close to the back of the car before moving away, each time getting a bit closer then the last.

"Do you trust me?"

"Alex right now I'm the one driving, and F-Y-I someone, like myself, failed the driver's test. So trust shouldn't be an issue." I took a few slow breaths before spotting a road sigh reading, 'Waverly ten miles.'

"Look rather you trust me or not, turn left."

"Waverly is on the right."

"Just do it."

"No." I shook my head as the turn approached. Shane was still in pursuit and my heart was still beating loudly, this time ringing in my ears.

"Oh just turn." I felt warm fingers run across mine, and when I tried to pull away from Alex's touch I found myself closing my eyes as she turned the car wheel sharply left. I quickly took my foot off the gas and slowly applied the break without opening my eyes once. A car horn echoed behind us as I faced Alex after stopping completely.

"Switch seats."

"Are you trying to kill us?" I asked the girl.

"Switch." She told me again, this time she pulled my seatbelt off of me before she positioned herself to climb over. I moved as best as I could before she drove down the left road and Shane's car stopped on the other road to back track.

"What game are you playing at Alex?"

"Call Shane and tell him to leave us alone."

"Oh you know that would work, if someone hadn't tossed my phone out the window." I crossed my arms, sitting back in the seat after pulling my seatbelt across my lap.

"Just use my phone."

"Where are we going."

"Would you just trust me already."

"I would but…," I ran my fingers against the phone in a small compartment before dialing Shane's phone. Alex was ignoring me now, her hands were stiffly placed on the wheel and her eyes were on nothing but the open road.

"Shane." I spoke into the receiver. "Leave Alex and I alone….I'll be fine. Just…please stop following us…I'll call you later…bye." I turned my head to the right as Alex opened her mouth before closing it. "What?" I asked.

"You're not going to call Shane."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

"Alex did we not just have a conversation where you should start talking to me, and not at me?"

"Listen Mitchie, I talk AT you, because it's the only way that you'll listen."

"Says who?" I sat up facing the girl before brushing a loose strand of hair behind me ear.

"Okay, Mitchie I don't feel okay with you talking to Shane."

"So."

"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TALK TO HIM."

"Well I already left a message, duh."

I felt hopeless listening to Alex like this again. One minute she's totally fine and the next she's yelling at me because I disagree with the way she believes she has control over what I do.

"Why do you act like that?" I pulled my legs into the seat, wrapping my hands around my knees before folding my fingers perfectly between one another.

"Like what?"

"Annoyed at what I do. I'm never annoyed at anything that you do. Well…maybe at you yelling at me for stupid reasons."

"I'm not annoyed at what you do."

"Then you can't tell me what I can and cannot do with Shane."

"I swear I'll put you out this car."

"I dare you."

I lowered my voice before silence filled the air. I could hear the leather around the steering wheel shift as Alex tightened her fingers around the fabric. Her knuckles slowly began turning white as she pulled to the side of the road. On one side a small farm land with many grazing cows covered the distance, on the other, a small creek with filled with old unrecognizable junk covered the top of the water. Alex faced me, her hands still on the wheel before she shut the car off.

"Do you really want to walk home?"

"I don't even know where I am, so even placing myself in the right direction is kind of out of the question."

"Look. Shane likes you."

"I know."

"You know?" Alex rose her eyebrow.

"Shane's always has been and always will be a good friend of mine, and nothing else."

"I don't like this." Alex whispered before pressing her forehead against the steering wheel.

"Like what?"

"Nothing." She mumbled under her breath and I took that as a sign that she was done yelling at me. Before Alex actually began pushing me away we'd sit for hours and talk, and I felt like she'd always listen.

"Can I ask you something?"

"No." Her voice was dry.

"What changed? Between us? Because if it was something I did, I'm really sorry." I didn't know if telling Alex something like this would make her feel for me, maybe it would only scare her away more, but at the moment, I didn't care.

"I said I didn't want you asking me anything."

"Was it your parents really? Because I doubt they could make feelings change. We made it pretty clear that we need each other but…," I could see her ignoring my voice, or at the most trying to block it out. "But I still love you, and you know that, but…do you still love me?"

Silence filled the car as Alex started the truck once more. I quickly reached for her hand, without fear, and pulled on her a bit in order for her to face me.

"Do you still love me?"

"What makes you think you have the right to ask me that?"

"Because…," I pointed out the window, turning back to Alex quickly, " I don't know where we're going, or what you're leading me into, or if I'll be going back home soon but…I feel like I have a right to know that if I'm going to stick with you, for whatever reason you're doing this…I should be able to get a simple answer as to whether you love me or not." I didn't know where all those words came from. I was a bit dizzy just speaking to Alex like that, but I couldn't turn back now. I said what I had said.

"How much does this answer mean to you?"

"Obviously a lot if I'm asking." I crossed my arms before Alex shook her head. She moved from where we were in the road and began driving into the distance again.

"Alex, answer me!" I didn't know why I wasn't afraid of the girl, but I was loving this new feeling of confidence. "If you love me.. it should be easy to say. Its not that hard. God, you don't understand how far I'd go for you. I'd go to the ends of the Earth and back if you asked, and all I want from you is a simple, 'I love you.'"

"That's not simple to say."

"I don't even know why I bother with you."

"I don't know either."

I don't think I could ever really and truly explain the sound of Alex's voice just then. I can never say it was a hurt voice, or a small sound that seemed to cry out for help. It was nothing like that, and even though her response felt broken, dry, and untrue, she held onto her words.

"I miss you Alex. The real Alex. The girl that loves to joke around and stand up for what she believes in. What happened to that Alex?"

"She grew up." Her voice only lead to me facing the window. It was going to get dark pretty soon and I was sure that in no time my mom would be looking for me.

"She grew up or…she grew apart…from me?"

A sigh left Alex's lips before she shook her head.

"I'd be lying if I said I grew apart from you. I love you, okay. Lets just not talk about this."

…

I don't know when and I don't know how, but some way or another I ended up in front of my house staring at Alex after a short nap. The sky was pitch black, the streetlights were dim and the air was cool and damp.

"I'll never understand you. The pain I put you through and still…you're willing to fight for me even if I tell you to fuck off."

"I guess I'm stupid." I repeat my little sister Mason's words before Alex points to the truck door.

"I don't know how to explain any of this to my parent. I've been driving around aimlessly with you for god knows how long and…I still haven't came up with a good lie about those drawings." Alex leaned against her window, looking at her house.

"Tell them the truth."

"Mitchie, its not that easy. I hate what my parents see of me…how they see me. I already know how badly their words are going to break into my soul."

"Is that the reason you've been so mean to me, bitchy even?"

"We're not talking about that. Get out and go home." Alex sat up signaling to the door as I tilted my head.

"You're doing it again, the thing where you block me out, and hurt me with your words."

"That's just how I am Mitchie, okay….life doesn't always go the way you planned."

"You're right, life never goes the way we plan, but…"

"I'm telling you…I'm not worth everything you're doing here. You'd be better off with that Shane guy."

"But you said I couldn't talk to him."

"Hell I'm bi-polar."

"I guess." I giggle at the brunette before my house door opens and my mother stands with Mason next to her.

"Well your mother still hates me." Alex tells me.

"Yeah. She might think you kidnapped me."

"But I did."

"Lets not tell her that." I didn't know why I was feeling perfectly comfortable with Alex after EVERYTHING, but she needed me, and I was willing to be there for her, no matter what.

**Okay I was falling to sleep on the last page of this, I'm really tired and I've been babysitting with my bestie. Anyway I'll be home officially on Wednesday, and so I'll be able to go back to writing, school starts soon but I'm only taking fun classes. Also I'm going on a updating and posting spree since I missed my last one…oh that'll take place in a week. Okay, so now that everything is said and done, THANKS FOR STICKING WITH ME, REMINDING ME TO UPDATE, AND HATING MY GUTS FOR MAKING YOU WAIT, I still love you guys, and I promise the torture will end.**

**Also those who've been with me for the past two summers and know how crazy my summer updates are, thanks for hanging on.**


	5. Chapter 5

__**Hey guys. So my best friend and I went to see Selena in Springfield, it was amazing, the entire day my heart was beating fast. We cut through parents and kids to be at the front of the line, ran to the track to stand and I ended up center stage, row one. I can't explain what was going through my head, but Selena did a lot of amazing moves right there in front of me. Of course I took pictures and videos and I still can't believe I saw both Demi and Selena this year. Also Selena called David D. who plays her dad since she couldn't be at the Emmy's since Wizards won their second one. He didn't answer so during one song he called back seven times, she said. Okay, enough with that, enjoy.**

** This update is a day early because my bestie slept ALL day, for like 17 hours, and so I was up bored and writing, and all by myself.**

** Also during the concert when Selena first came out I was sweating like a pig, I was fine when Mitchel was on and them BAM, Selena…. and then I got hot super fast. Also I couldn't do anything but stare at her legs, she was doing all her smexy, yes smexy moves in front of me.…Demi and Selena are my dirty little secrets, but for a straight girl I would so go gay for either one of them ha. True story.**

_One sudden moment can change everything. One wrong word can hurt those you love the most…and one wrong decision, can break your heart._

My mom doesn't say a word as I pass her. Mason only follows me until I end up in my room. Dinner was still on the table, cold I suppose since it was past seven, when my mom was usually finished with dinner. I went into my room and as if a force of habit, I looked behind me. Mason was by the door as my mom cleaned the table off.

"Back off short stuff." I pull the doorknob into my hand as Mason presses her palm against the wood.

"Listen, you may be older, but you're definitely not smarter. Mom isn't going to talk to you, I just thought you'd like to know." Once my sister stepped back I wanted to test her theory but decided against it. I stepped into my room, closed the door and laid against my bed. The sheets were soft and welcoming, up until the point where my stomach began growling. A knock came to my room door.

"Go away, I'm going to sleep."

"Mom wants to know where your phone is."

"How should I know?" I focused on a small blue spot against the ceiling as Mason knocked again.

"Its your phone, who else would know besides you? Mom was calling all day and she usually never takes your phone away but she wants it."

"Then tell her to come and get it."

"I told you she's not talking to you." Mason kicked my door, I heard the bottom of the wood create a popping noise before shaking.

"Go away."

"You're always worried about Alex, but what about us? We're your family. Mom called Shane and he said you weren't with him. So where were you exactly?"

"Its none of your business."

"You were with her all day, and then you come in here…"

"Mason, if you don't get away from my door."

"You'll what? You don't want Alex pushing you away, well guess what? You're pushing the people who care about you the most into a corner. Mom and I care about you too, but you can't see that. You're blinded by what you want to see." I could hear Mason walk away before I sighed. She always spoke as if she knew everything, and here she is at twelve years old trying to tell me about life. I close my eyes, ignoring my hunger pains and trying my best to fall to sleep. Alex was on my mind, there was no doubting that.

"What are you a stalker?" I could hear Mason talking from somewhere in the house. I didn't want to open my eyes, my body was still tired.

"Do I look like a stalker?" A boy's voice asked before laughter echoed through the house. I sat up waiting to hear my mom in the mix.

"Well thank you Shane for bringing this."

_What could he have possibly brung?_ I question before stretching slowly and standing up in the clothes from the night before. I think about changing and soon enough stumble into the bathroom to shower. The voices disappear as I let the water run across my body, my mind is blank, at least, for the moment.

I pull on a jean dress before walking barefooted into the hall.

"Mom?" I call out making my way towards the living room. I spot Shane right away.

"I'm sorry," I mouth to the boy about yesterday as he shakes his head. I didn't know what it meant but I took it as him not forgiving me. But this little thing was between him and Alex, not me.

"Look at what Shane found." Mason held up a miniature card that I could barley see in her hand.

"What is it?"

"A sim card, it goes with that broken stuff." Mason signaled to a smashed up black phone.

"Is that mine?" I dive over to my sister and sit on my legs as I shift through the pieces on the table.

"Alex broke your phone? How could you let her throw it out a window?"

"Mind your own business." I grab the card from Mason before searching for the memory card.

"You are one delusional girl if you think love does this."

"Mom, have you seen my memory card?"

"I told you she's not talking to you."

"Shut up Mason." I stand up and face the kitchen, "mom."

"She's not talking to you." Mason hums with a smile.

"Shut up Mason," I reface my mom, "why aren't you talking to me?" I could feel a small energy pulse through my chest as if my heart was breaking a bit.

"What do you want me to say Mitchie?" My mom doesn't face me, she scrubs at the pots in front of her as the picture window brings in light.

"Well you could start off if you've seen my memory card." My mom scoffs at me, something she's never done before. I walk into the kitchen as Mason continues to pick through my phone pieces on the coffee table.

"Mom." I stand at the sink next to the one my mom's working in, before looking up at her. "What did I do?"

"You've lied to me Mitchie." She began running her fingers harder and harder into the rag in her hand.

"I didn't lie to you, and if I did, about what?"

"You've never lied to me. No matter how bad things got you've never lied." My mom shook her head, tossed the pot she was working on into my sink and pulled up a pan, before sticking it into the water.

"What did I lie about?"

"You said you were with Shane yesterday, and I was fine with that until the Russo's came to my door demanding me to tell them where my daughter ran off to with theirs."

I could see the hurt in my mother's eyes before I grabbed the sink tightly and rocked myself on my feet. "I..I knew you'd never let me go if I was with Alex, and…"

"She's causing you to lie now? To me of all people?" My mom finally faced me, as she let her pan slide through her fingers. "If she's causing you to leave home, lie, and keeping you from contacting anyone," my mom sighed and shook her head. "Do you not see anything wrong with this picture?"

"I'm sorry. I won't lie again. But mom, its working, Alex and I are working things out."

"No more Mitchie," I couldn't do anything but watch my mom walk over to Mason, past her and Shane, before stepping outside.

"Mom what are you doing?"

"I need to let the Russo's know everything, I think this is the best way for all of us to live and.."

"Mom Alex is going to tell her parents."

"Why because she said she was?"

"Yes." I nodded before stepping a bit more towards the living room. "Because I think she wants us to work as much as I do."

"Mitchie," my mother scoffed again, "can't you see that this is never going to work? I've been supporting you in this endeavor. But baby, I think its time to give up, please, I can't keep doing this to myself, always worrying about if I'll see you again, or what that girl will force you to do." My mom faced the Russo's again as I walked over to her and grabbed her hand.

"Mom, Alex and I are going to work."

"Why can't you take something away from me called experience?"

"Like you told me a while back, I need to make my own mistakes."

"But not so many of the same ones." My mom leaned against the archway of the door as a breeze blew over me. I let my eyes trail to Alex's house. Everything seemed quiet and normal.

"Mom I'll go and get Alex and she'll explain to you everything we've worked out."

"Don't you dare. I can't accept this anymore Mitchie, I won't. You deserve better, you deserve more then her."

"But can't you see I only want her?" I felt the sun against my skin. I didn't notice how I inched more and more outside, and now I was standing on the pavement in front of the door.

"This is what drives me insane as a mother. I'm suppose to protect you."

"Mom you can't protect me from everything. And I don't want to be protected from Alex. I'll protect myself." My eyes wondered up to my mom's as she shook her head and pushed past me into the house. I didn't know if I should follow her or not, so I stood, barefooted, as my hair slowly dried in the wind. Shane soon stood next to me.

"I'm starting to hate that girl." The boy faced me as I shook my head.

"I want you all to know that…Alex is really changing, she is."

"Mitchie why do you want to be with someone that hurts you?"

"She hasn't hurt me in the past two days."

"Oh then she should get a award for that right?"

"Take your sarcasm and shove it Shane. You wouldn't know love if it hit you the face."

"I've known love for a very long time, its just that you haven't realized it yet." I studied Shane's face, his eyes were burning into me.

"Shane…I didn't know."

"How could you? Its always about Alex, your first love right? But what about the person who's right here in front of you, ready to commit his life to you, and yet…you still want the one person who hurts you the most." I lower my eyes at the boy's statement before sighing.

"Shane, you're a great friend, and I love you more then anything in the world but, I don't love you in that way. I'm sorry."

"Its because you will fight to the end for that girl, you'd let her hurt you a million times, and if you survive that… a million times more."

"I believe she's changing, for the better, that's worth something."

Shane walks away from me and towards the street staring at Alex's house before re-facing me.

"Besides the fact that she was your first love, what does she have that I don't?"

I don't want to answer Shane's question, I didn't want to hurt him any further. I moved over towards the boy, a few pebbles getting kicked out of the way here and there.

"Shane, you're my friend, can we just stay that way?"

"What does she have that I don't?"

"Huh." I run my fingers through my hair, noticing how dry it was, and a bit curly at the ends. "My heart, she owns it." Shane only nods before sitting against the curb, the Russo's door opens and I spot Teresa standing in the door, her eyes locked on me.

"Hi Mrs. Russo." I wave cautiously.

"Mitchie can we talk?" The woman asks as I face my house door and then Shane on the concrete.

"What should I do?" I asked him.

"Does her parents know yet?"

"I don't know."

"Then I wouldn't." Shane picked up a rock and tossed it across the street at a small sign in the ground.

"Please Mitchie." Teresa calls to me.

"I can't."

"So you know what this is about?" She asks.

"No, what is what about?"

"Please, come and talk." She disappears inside as I gaze down at Shane.

"Don't do it." He tells me.

"Just tell my mom where I went please." I cross the street and head into the unlocked Russo's home. The place was a wreck from the day before. Alex sat on a small one person chair while Jerry had his arms crossed next to her. He was standing and Teresa was behind me after I walked in.

"I'm kind of barefooted here." I tell the woman.

"It doesn't matter, please step this way."

Alex looks up at me, her eyes red and panicked. I looked between Jerry and Teresa before sitting on the two person loveseat.

"Hi Alex." I kept things casual. She didn't speak to me, but to her parents.

"Leave her out of it."

"This is of no concern to you." Jerry told her.

"Dad, please, leave her out of it."

"Alex, we have company, keep your tone down." Teresa added in. My heart began beating faster as I bit my bottom lip.

"Can we ask you something Mitchie?" Teresa faced me before sitting on the other side.

"Sure."

"What do you think of Alex?"

"She's….bossy." I was telling the truth.

"Yes, but what qualities about her do you take interest in."

I faced Alex, I could see the terror in her eyes. I was more relaxed then she was.

"Um I don't think I understand the question."

"You see Teresa, Mitchie is normal." Jerry told his wife as Alex tried to stand but her dad only pushed her back into her seat. I couldn't stand seeing her like this, so vulnerable, never have I seen her that way.

"We have drawings we'd like to show you, go and get them Teresa." Jerry instructed his wife.

"Leave her out of this." Alex told her dad about me but he only ignored her. Teresa came back with the books that I knew had drawings of me in them.

"Now these may shock you." Teresa handed me the books but I didn't dare turn to the first page. I was watching Alex, her red eyes filling with tears. I wanted to know what she said to her parents, how they reacted to her, if they let her say anything at all.

"I'm sorry, I think my mom wants me home." I stood up.

"Open the book." Jerry instructed me.

"Why?"

"Just open it."

"No." Never have I talked back to an adult but I did it anyway.

"Fine, you don't have to look at them," Jerry knocked the books onto the floor out of my hand as Alex stood up behind him.

"Dad just leave her out of this, its my problem not hers."

"Alex sit." Jerry pointed to the chair she left. "Look down at those pictures."

"No." I took a deep breath before something unexpected happened, I felt Jerry pull my arm, he twisted me behind him and held my face forcing me to stare at the few upright drawings on the floor. I kicked my feet as Teresa quietly spoke to her husband. I felt Alex's hand against mine, she tugged on me as her dad pushed her back.

"You see what you're causing my daughter to do. You see this don't you?" He shook me a bit before dropping me as I fell to the floor. A loud thud came from my knee hitting the hardwood.

"STOP IT." Alex screamed as she dived next to me, her dad pulling her up by her arm as I helped myself stand. Jerry grabbed my arm and held me with his right hand and Alex with his left.

"You will not be able to tempt my daughter anymore." He pushed me into Alex as I closed my eyes, I could feel how close she was against me, but for the first time, I was truly scared by her touch.

"Jerry enough now." Teresa told her husband as he released me and Alex. I stepped back into the chair as Alex reached for me only to get her hand swatted away.

"Now this is a warning to you," Jerry pointed to me, "its your fault she's acting like this, its your fault she's drawing things like this." I hung on the man's voice word from word before noticing these were the exact things Alex was saying to me not too long ago. "You're corrupting our daughter, you stay away from her." My heart was beating fast, as Teresa faced me.

"No Jerry, this all can't be Mitchie's fault, even if she is a little temptress, I think a major part of this is Alex's fault." Teresa faced Alex who turned towards their kitchen and ran.

"Where is she going?" Jerry asked as the back door clicked open.

"Jerry…go get her." Teresa demanded.

"I should go home." I watched as Jerry fled after Alex and I darted towards the front door where my mother stood ready to knock. I hugged my mama tight, something I rarely did. She never yelled at me for liking Alex, never did she try to force us apart, and I took that for granted. I saw Shane moving around our yard across the street before Alex ran that way. I released my mom and ran after her, with Jerry soon in toe. Alex disappeared behind my house and so did I before I felt the girl tug me into a nearby bush before her dad ran past us, screaming Alex's name. My heart was beating against my chest harshly, my breaths becoming harder to catch as I noticed Alex embracing me tightly. I ran my fingers up her back to hug her tight as my mom screamed for Jerry to leave our yard. I could hear Mason from in the house yelling out as Shane darted behind my mom into the backyard.

"I'm sor…"

"I didn't even tell them." Alex whispered broken hearted to me.

"Tell them what?" I asked.

"About us. I didn't tell them and this is how they're acting towards me." Alex pushed me away from her slowly before staring at me as best as she could. I shook in her grip and not because of the way she usually made me feel, but because I was still scared.

"They already hate me." She whispered as I shook my head.

"They're just scared of what they don't know." I whispered back.

"My parents don't know a lot." Alex giggled before letting tears stream down her face. I crawled into her lap, hugging her tight before nodding.

"Okay, they don't know anything." She hurtfully agreed before I pulled back and began brushing her tears away.

"Great, now you've seen me cry." She told me.

"Its makes you human. And…I like this side of you…not the hurtful side but.."

"Yeah, whatever." She tried to play her tough girl act but I wasn't buying it.

"You can stay at my house tonight. You know, when we get out of the bushes." I rolled my eyes as I noticed my mom, Shane, and Jerry was in front of the house now, still searching for Alex I suppose.

"Your mom hates me."

"Trust me, my mom will understand, and she doesn't hate you." I wiped away the last tear before leaning into Alex, I studied her face as she nudged her nose against mine. In a way I could feel the pain her heart was in and I wanted to mend it. I was never the first to kiss Alex, not for as long as I could remember, but at that moment, I leaned into her and gripped her shoulders before kissing her gently. The feelings between us were mutual then, we wanted the world to stop, for everything to be okay, we both wanted to be accepted, I could feel it all though that kiss. I pulled back, climbing off of Alex's lap and out of the bush as she followed. I could hear Jerry still yelling for Alex. Mason was in the window, scaring me half to death as I told her to open the back door. After we went into the house we moved straight into my room.

"Does mom know that runaway of a girl is in here?" Mason asked.

"Oh shut up," I told her, closing the door and locking it. Alex and I sat on the bed, staring at each other. I could feel the new energy between us, half of it being afraid, the other half was feelings that Alex admitted was gone and had never left. The girl moved into me and I looked away. She was scared, I knew that, but us doing anything would only be to forget the world only for that moment, and then what?

"Mitch," Alex called to me as I faced her. She quickly gripped my face, kissing me before pushing me down against the mattress, I felt her climb above me.

"Mmm, no." I said between the kiss. "Not like this, not…just…no." I breathed out. Alex held my wrist, staring down at me before she came into me again, this time sliding her fingers up from my wrist to my shoulders, pinning me down as she kissed me. I pushed my legs up, trying to get from under the girl's amazing tight grip. She pushed her body into me more, the new pressure causing my mind to race. I shook my head.

"Alex….no…you're just frustrated." I huffed out.

"I just…"

"No." I said one last time as the girl pecked my lips to see if I would change my mind. I gazed into her brown eyes before shaking my head "no." Alex crawled off of me and laid to my side. I grabbed her hand and pulled it up to kiss her fingers before, running my skin across her palm and kissing her hand one last time.

"Everything is gonna' be okay. I promise you."

**Do you people not know how hard it is to write when you have someone looking at you, smiling at you, or even touching you while writing? It's a total no-no, okay, so yeah.**


	6. Chapter 6

** So my mom and sister gave me these rainbow things with a white unicorn in the middle. I love them because I love unicorns and playing that one game on adult swim, tell me why my bestie wants one? Funny thing, my sister gave me one and my mom gave me one, so if I knew who gave me which I might of let her have one, but because I don't know which one either gave me I'm keeping both. So yeah, enjoy this chapter, I was panicking trying not to update this early, because I needed something for my updating spree, anyway, enjoy.**

**Updating Spree start #1 (will YOU read them all)**

_Everything is going to be okay, everything is going to be okay, everything…when did I become a broken record?_

I sat up next to Alex who was still on her back. The room was getting hot considering the air was off, either it was that or my heart rate was causing my blood to heat up. I glanced at my room door, picturing my mother's outline between it.

"I should tell my mom you're in here." I face Alex who only ignores me. Her mind is elsewhere. "I'll be back." I stand only to feel the girl's hand wrap around my wrist, I look back at her.

"What if she makes me go home?"

"She won't."

"But what if she does?"

"Alex, trust me." I pluck my arm from the girl's grip before stepping over to my room door and unlocking it. I admit that in the back of my head I knew it was a high chance that my mom would kick Alex out of the house, but there was also a chance that she'd trust my judgment. I pull open the room door and spot my mom down the hall staring at Shane's who's peeking out the house window.

"Mom, can we talk?" I ask.

"Mitch, not right now."

"I just want to know if Alex can stay the night?" My question must have triggered something in my mom because she faced me quickly and rose her eyebrow.

"Tell her to come out here."

"Mom, please don't make her go home."

"Did I say I was going to force her to go home? Just get her out here." My mom was waiting for me to protest, but I didn't. I went back into my room spotting Alex standing near the door.

"My mom wants to see you." I told her.

"She wants to yell at me like everyone else."

"If you haven't noticed yet, my mom doesn't yell."

"Yeah well, I'd yell at me if I was her." I couldn't stand the brunette like this.

"Come on, I'll go with you." I reached for Alex's hand as she ignored my gesture, stepping out into the hall with me. My mom gazed over us before Mason appeared next to her.

"Alex can stay in the guest room down the hall for one night only." My mom told us.

"What? Oh so Mitchie can have dates over but I can't even have a boyfriend?"

"You're twelve Mason." My mom called to her.

"Yeah mom, but I'm like super old in dog years."

I lead Alex towards the back room, which rarely seen any use, and flicked on the light switch. The dark blue room was filled with black dressers with a bed set to match.

"No windows." Alex said, noting the obvious.

"Yeah, this use to be Mason's play room a few years ago."

"Why can't I just sleep with you?" Alex faced me after dropping my hand.

"I…its my mom…"

"She doesn't trust me?"

"I…I don't know." I made it over to the guest bed and stripped the sheets before replacing them with a new set.

"You don't know, or she doesn't really trust me?"

"Its nothing personal Alex. Its just…you're no different then any other person on this planet..I like you, you like me, my mom isn't stupid."

"Who said anything was going to happen?"

"No one, its just…its better to be safe then sorry right?" I watched as Alex closed the room door and walked over towards me.

"I guess." She whispered near my ear causing my heart to jump.

"So, what happened when you went home?" I sat against the bed, waiting for Alex to take a seat next to me, but she only stood before pacing.

"All I did was walk into the house. My dad grabbed my arm and lead me into the living room and he spread every picture I had onto the coffee table."

"Every….last…one?" I asked as Alex faced me.

"Every, last, one." She pressed her back into the door.

"Even the one with…me on your bed?"

"Look, I don't know how many he saw but they were all there for the world to see. I guess my parents stopped trusting me a long time ago."

"What do you mean?"

"All those days I snuck out the house, all those times I forced you to go with me some place, they saw it all. They were up watching me."

"Okay that doesn't…"

"My dad saw me kissing you, he figured I was the one who came onto you, so when I went into the house this morning he asked me if we…" Alex pressed her ear up against the door before facing me.

"What?"

"Can anyone hear me talking out there?"

"I don't think so, the room's kinda vacuumed packed or whatever." I lifted my feet onto the bed, crossing my legs before taking notice that I was still barefooted.

"He asked if we had sex. I told him no. He didn't believe me."

"But…we didn't."

"We kind of almost did, but…"

"Alex we didn't…" I was feeling a chill run down my spine.

"I know we didn't, but we almost did. So I asked him why did he want to know."

"What?"

"He showed me the drawings I did, but obviously I knew they found them when you told me. So he asked me to explain them, and I told him I couldn't."

I watched as Alex made it over to me, she sat against the bed before continuing.

"He said there was only one way I could draw you like that, and that's if we had sex."

"Okay I posed for some of those drawings but we never…"

"I know what we didn't do Mitchie, believe me I know. But there was no talking to my dad after that."

"And your mom?"

"She encouraged him to get the truth out of me, or what they thought was the truth."

"So you didn't have a chance to tell them about us?"

"Why would I even want to now? This is why we can never be." Alex faced me, she was more relaxed then earlier, but pain was written all over her face.

"I thought we were going to work things out?"

"Mitch, I can't have my parents hating me."

"So you'd rather hurt me?" I took a deep breath, trying to calm down as Alex ran her fingers over mine.

"Its not that I choose to hurt you."

"You listen to your parents more then your heart?" I could feel a lump forming in my throat so I looked away from Alex as she slid her fingers through mine.

"I'm just sixteen, threes no world for me without them."

"You have me," I stated.

"As much as you wish the world to be more like Romeo and Juliet, its different these days." Alex laid next to me, closing her eyes. I didn't want to say anything else, I only focused on the ceiling until the room door opened.

"I'd like to talk to Alex, alone." My mom stepped into the room saying. I looked between her and Alex.

"Mom, nothing was happening…"

"I didn't say it was. I would like to talk to Alex though, if you don't mind." My mom wasn't leaving much room for protest. I nodded before inching towards the door. "This will only take a second." She reinsured me before closing the door. I couldn't hear a thing, but I could see Mason peeking around the corner as Shane held his hand on the front doorknob. I made it down the hall, pushing my sister to the side before standing next to Shane.

"So does this mean you're going to hate me now?" I was asking about earlier.

"You mean the entire things where Alex will be the only person you'll ever want to be with, and me confessing my love to you will only be seen as a flattering gesture, because we can't be anything more then just friends?" Shane faced me as I lowered my head before nodding. "No. I don't hate you." The boy answered.

"Good because, I need you as a friend."

"Yeah." Shane nodded before checking the peep hole. "Is she staying over?"

"Who, Alex?"

"No the tooth fairy, of course Alex."

"Yeah, I think so." I wanted to know what my mom was saying to the girl, but I guess there was no way in my hearing any of it.

"Jerry is still outside, I think he knows Alex is in here."

"Oh." I open the house door as Jerry peeks into the house, I suppose he only spotted Shane and I, before Mason stepped next to us.

"What do you want old man?" My little sister asked as Jerry ran his hand over his mouth shaking his head.

"I'm sorry if you hate me." I spoke to guy as he stepped back a bit before looking across the street toward his wife.

"Where's Alex?"

"I don't know, you scared her off remember?" Here I was again, lying to an adult. I was a bit relieved my mother wasn't behind me.

"Okay." Jerry nodded. "I'm going to bring you all those pictures because my daughter doesn't need them in the house…no better yet, I'll burn them." Jerry faced his house, happy for the moment as I gazed at Shane.

"I should go." He told me.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just…I really want to break one of those windows." He pointed to Alex's car. "Oh I'm not done with her almost hitting me."

"Shane. Be nice." I told the boy, smiling faintly as he walked onto the porch.

"Time to go home." He smiled, "to you know, cry and stuff."

"What?"

"Well you don't expect me to take your 'no,' so lightly do you?" Shane moved more towards the street, "this might take a few days, or a month…or a year." He shook his head before smiling once more.

"Bye." I whispered noticing Teresa staring at me from across the street. I backed into the house as Mason climbed onto the couch.

"So. What's mom talking to Alex about?"

"How should I know?"

"Maybe mom is yelling at her."

"She is not."

"And what makes you so sure of that?" Mason crossed her legs. "Alex has made you cry, she's made you sneak out the house, she made you lie, she broke your phone, she humiliated you last week, she's kept you away from your homework assignments…"

"Okay Mason I get it. But mom isn't going to yell at her, I haven't."

"Because you're scared to."

"I'm not…I'm not afraid of her temper as much anymore, since, you know, today really." I shook my head before I saw my mom shuffle into the kitchen.

"Mom did you yell at her?" Mason asked.

"No."

"So….," I moved past my little sister and into the backroom where Alex had her head in her hands. "What did my mom say to you?" A silent head shake was all I got. I closed the room door and sat on the floor next to the girl.

"She didn't yell did she?"

"No."

"So what did she say?" I asked before Alex crawled in front of me.

"She asked if I was an idiot."

"What?"

"Yeah. And then she asked me if I was stupid."

"Wait, aren't they the same thi…"

"No, two totally different meanings," She cut me off to say. "And then she hugged me, and then she asked me…if I was serious."

"About what?"

"Mitchie can you not do that."

"Do what?"

"Talk while I'm talking."

"Alex." I reached for the girl's hand, "you're doing that little thing again." I wasn't afraid to say things to her like I seemed to be just yesterday.

"…. She asked if I was serious about working things out with you, and I didn't know what to say."

"Oh." I slid my hand back a bit before looking into Alex's brown eyes.

"I told her I knew that I didn't want to hurt you anymore. And I told her that maybe I was stupid, and maybe a few things I forced you to do…what I made you do, was a little idiotic but, I told her that I know that you are a big part of my life and…I couldn't lose you…I can't lose you."

"But you don't know if we should be together."

"You're ready to put your heart on the line Mitchie.." Alex shied away a bit. I was confused at the way she just looked away from me.

"I am."

"I know you are but, I've never had anyone care for me as much as you do, EVER. I just, I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I don't know if I'm suppose to put my all out there. And what about me? If I give you everything I have, then what will really be mine?"

I faintly smiled at Alex before grabbing her hand and pulling her into me a bit. I pushed her fingers out from the small fist she had against the carpet and placed her hand against my heart.

"You'll have me, and it comes with a lifetime guarantee that you'll always own my heart, and it comes with my body and soul, guaranteed." I giggled a bit as she moved her hand back.

"You really deserve more then me." Alex whispered.

"You're wrong. I deserve only you."

We sat quietly after that. The room echoed with ringing hisses that I suppose my mind was making up as I studied Alex, she was questioning herself, I could see it on her face. I didn't say anything, I let her take the time to process my words before I finally stood.

"Need help?" I asked Alex, handing her my hand as she looked up at me. She was still very reluctant to let me take some of her power away, but she let a few of her walls down already, I didn't need to see many more fall just yet. But before I moved away she ran her fingers through mine before gripping them tightly. I helped her stand before she slowly let me go. Still no words came from her, but not much had to be said, she was whispering to me without words, she was telling me secrets with her eyes, and giving me control from her heart.

I laid in my bed, staring out the window somehow worried that the Russo's may want to break their daughter out of my house. It was getting closer and closer to midnight and I was still a bit paranoid. I heard my door click open so I sat up to see Alex trying to sneak in. I didn't want to scare her just yet, so I watched her close the door before speaking.

"You're gonna' have to be a bit better then that to sneak into my room."

I could see a sense of shock fill her face as her body froze.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist scaring you." I said as the girl finally let out a breath of air. She crawled into my bed before sliding under the covers. "My mom is going to kill me if she knows you're in my bed.

"She won't kill you."

"Uh, yeah she will." I face Alex who's laying down while I'm sitting up, staring down at her.

"I just, I don't want to sleep in that room. It makes me claustrophobic."

"Tell me about it." I agreed before sliding under the sheets more and turning inward to Alex. She ran her fingers up to my bare shoulders, stroking my skin slowly, running her hand up and down my arm.

"I don't think all my problems are going to go away in a day."

"No."

"But I wish they would."

I nodded in agreement, closing my eyes. Alex's hand stopped at my shoulder again before she made her fingers walk down my collar bone, I didn't open my eyes until her fingers ran against the top of my nightgown.

"O-o-kay." I caught Alex's fingers before kissing them. "Lets not."

"You're good at speaking your mind."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are." Alex whispered before moving her hand back to her. "You tell your mom exactly how things are, rather she likes it or not."

"Because she's my mom, she's obligated to love me." I giggle before Alex runs her fingers against my bottom lip. I pull back taking a deep breath.

"Love, not like."

"She likes me too, that I know of." I nodded before watching Alex nod with me. She gave a faint smile before brushing my hair with her fingers behind my ear several times. My heart was losing control just from the simplest touch. I watched as Alex leaned into me, barley kissing me at all, pulling back a few times before coming in to kiss me once more. She slid both of her hands up to reach my face as she held my cheeks, finally kissing me harder. I held my breath for a reason I barley knew why. My heart was beating in my ears loudly as Alex pulled back. I was surprised she was the one to move away from me.

"Goodnight." She whispered.

"I..oh, goodnight." I told her as she kissed my forehead, before rolling on her side. I laid in shock, staring at the back of her head most of the time before closing my eyes. "Goodnight." I said once more. I was trying to figure out if this was part of the new Alex, the Alex's I've known, or if her not forcing herself on me was her was of showing me she was going to try to make us work, and that this wasn't my battle alone.

_I was prepared for anything, or at least that's what I told myself. I was breaking down every wall I held up, although they were few, to truly give my all, to the one person I've always loved. I was just hoping, somewhere, deep down in her heart, she was ready to do the same thing too._

**I'm trying so hard to catch up on my writing, I even decorated my room in Demi and Selena posters to keep me inspired. Hopefully My Toshiba will be working again in a week and a half, I need it.**


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